


Over the Counter

by BeignetBenny



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Drug Addiction, Drug Dealing, Drug Use, Drugged Castiel, F/M, Lawyer Sam Winchester, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con, Stripper Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-25 03:21:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4944808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeignetBenny/pseuds/BeignetBenny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel’s heart beats hard as his memories flow back to him. Ba-boom. He meets Dean Winchester and is convinced to travel the world together. Become partners in crime. Ba-boom. As they travel, their business grows to huge proportions. Dean pays for his brother’s tuition, Castiel pays for his daughter to be moved somewhere safe. Ba-boom. They get caught, they shouldn’t have gotten caught, they had gotten everything right. They were the good guys, right? And yet, as he takes his last breath as he feels blood ooze out of his back and his breaths become more shallow. Dean yelling for somebody, anybody, to help. Cas thinks he still wouldn’t change a thing.<br/>This is their story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. John's Boy

**Author's Note:**

> My DCBB is finally here! It will be updated throughout the day. Please comment and enjoy!

The room was extremely cold. White painted bricks surrounded him. The floor was cement, freezing his feet through his shoes. He looked to the ceiling and sighed, steam flowing from his mouth. The only thing in his mind was how the hell he let everything get so out of hand.

“You know what you’re doing, right?” Sam said as he walked into the room, the doors swinging closed behind him.

“Testifying,” Dean said matter-of-factly, without looking up to meet his little brother in the eye. “I’m testifying, against my dad.”

“You’re making it sound a lot worse than it is,” Sam stated as he leaned against a wall, waiting for Dean to get up to join him outside. “Yeah, you’re testifying against our father, but it’s for all of our safety, okay? Castiel’s yours, and mine.”

“Is that supposed to change anything?”

“I’m just trying to help.”

The two guards in the room yanked Dean to a standing position. He’d had enough fighting for the past twelve hours, so he let them handle him roughly without so much as a word. “I’m only doing this for Cas. If he wasn’t involved I would have spilled every goddamn secret I know as soon as they dragged me in here.”

Sam nodded, put one hand in his suit pocket, and held the door open with the other. Dean was pulled forward forcefully. “Just try not to look him in the eyes.”

“I’ll do my best, Sammy.”

With that, Dean was pulled through the door and Sam followed him out. As his brother went to take his seat, the guards unlocked the handcuffs around Dean’s wrists. He walked over to the witness stand. The court clerk looked Dean up and down, probably making up another case in his head. Dean knew he looked like a criminal, he was one, after all.

“Hold up your right hand,” Dean did as the clerk said. “Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?”

“I do.” Dean said, as he sat down he locked eyes with his father, who was sitting next to his lawyer. He felt a chill run down his spine. There was only two ways the case could go, and Dean planned to be in charge the whole time. Nothing would happen that he or Sam didn’t agree with. He’d been overexactly what he would say multiple times. They wouldn’t be able to con a con man, right?

“Can you state your name for the court, please?” John’s lawyer stood up. The first thing Dean noticed about him were his piercing eyes gray eyes and an intimidating glow surrounding him. Sam had mentioned him before they went out. That was Zachariah, he was supposed to be on their side, even though he was defending John.  
“Dean Winchester.”

“No middle name?”

“No middle name.”

Zachariah sighed, “Very well. Is it true that you are a dealer and importer for Mr. John Winchester’s drug ring?”

“ _Was_ ,” Dean corrected. “ _Was_ a part of his drug ring. I broke off about six months ago.”

“What caused you to break it off as you say?”

“It got too dangerous.”

Zachariah nodded, contemplating his next choice of words. “Specify dangerous for me, will you Mr. Winchester?”

“As in death threats,” Dean said. “Too many people found out about -”

He was cut off by the lawyer. “So, by ‘dangerous’ you mean well known? Did this cartel have a specific name that could be linked to John Winchester.”

“That- that wasn’t what I was saying.”

“Does it?” Zachariah repeated.

“There was no name that could be connected to him, no.”

“Okay,” Zachariah paced a few steps before continuing. “John Winchester is your father, correct?” Dean nodded. “Would you say it was him that brought you into… _this_?”

“Specify what _this_ is.” The judge interrupted.

“The entire drug scene,” Zachariah said, before turning back to Dean. “Was it him who caused you to join?”

Dean hesitated, then glanced at his father. John’s cold eyes looked back at him, shooting daggers through him with that all too familiar look. Dean’s blood ran cold.

“In a way.” Dean responded, causing confused looks from both Sam and John.

“Explain.”

“John didn’t tell me to join, that was all me,” Dean’s voice shook. “But… uh… his actions definitely had part in that.”

Zachariah knitted his eyebrows together, then looked back at John before continuing. “What exactly were his actions?”

                                                                           

Dean opened his eyes slowly to see that he was still in the middle of nowhere. He should have expected it. Age fifteen and he has to live on the road, barely surviving from stop to stop. Dean knew what his father did was terrible, but he didn’t quite mind what was done anymore. How he had to live on the other hand, was what he hated. He hadn’t had a good bed or meal in what felt like weeks. He looked to the front seat and silently thanked whoever was listening that it was just his father up there and not one of his friends again.

His father was always easier than the others, and he thought he was an amazing dad. Then again, at the time he didn’t have much to compare to.

“Dad?” Dean said in a small voice.

John glanced backwards then locked his eyes on the road again. “Yeah, Dean?”

“Where are we?”

“Illinois,” He said after a moment.

“Are we going to Grandma’s house?” Dean asked, perking up “Is it her weekend? Do I get to see Sammy?”

“Dean-” John warned, but Dean continued

“Or is it Bobby’s? I kinda lose track.”

“Neither,” Dean couldn’t get a word in before John continued. “You’ll be staying with me for a while.”

Dean sighed and leaned back in his seat. “And by stay with you, you mean you leave me in a motel alone for days and only pick me up when someone’s on our ass again, right?”

It was quiet again, the only sound was the rumbling of the engine. Dean thought better than to push the subject. He was surprised he hadn’t already been cussed out or worse, so he wasn’t going to push his luck.

They only had a few rules between them. You didn’t use the same crapper twice and you don’t speak about anything that mom had custody of, including but not limited to Dean’s little brother. Then of course, there was respect. Dean was not meant to be seen, even less so heard. If somebody did end up seeing him, John would always jump in and say Dean was just some kid that he had to pick up because he ran away from home. Dean could only actually refer to John as his father when they were alone.

The car slowed to a stop, and Dean looked out of the window to see an old building. The paint was peeling off the outside and the glass door looked to be shattered. When he looked closer he saw there was a vending machine, maps, a single man sitting on the bench inside, and doors to bathrooms. “Why’d we stop?”  He asked, not looking away from the vending machine.

“I want you to go over there and give ‘em something.” John said as he opened the door of the car and climbed out.

His stomach growled at the thought of the multitude of candies and pastries that had to be inside of the machine. All dusted with a fine layer of sugar. He had the feeling they would have all been expired, but he rarely had such a luxury, so the safety of eating it didn’t bother him at all.

“Did you hear me, boy?” Dean heard his father say from outside. He scrambled out of the car quickly to see his father opening the trunk.

“Yeah, I heard you. What am I giving them?”

“Don’t ask,” John responded. “You see any cops?” Dean scanned the parking lot but saw nothing but the lampposts, giving the parking lot an eerie glow. John lifted up the top of the compartment in the trunk to show packages all gathered neatly in opaque black bags. Despite the lack of sight through the bags, Dean knew what each one held just by looking at a sticker that was put on the top side of them, all color coded. Powders, liquids, leaves that hadn’t even been dried out yet, pills. Even certain ones that look like normal food but were packed full of things, all ways to self-medicate. John grabbed a bag that had a teal sticker on it and handed it to Dean.

“You’re kidding right?” Dean asked, looking from the bag to his father. “There is no way in hell I’m doing that.”

“It’s your life, Dean.”

“Yeah, and I don’t want to spend my entire life ruining others.” Dean insisted, taking a step back.

“You’ve carried before,” John stated. “You’ve crossed the border a few times with this shoved up somewhere so no one could find it, and you haven’t got caught.”

“But-”

“Dean I swear to God, if you don’t do exactly what I’m saying I will leave your ass here until you do.”

Dean hesitated before snatching the bag from his father’s hands. “Can I get something from the vending machine?

John sighed, and handed Dean a wrinkled dollar bill. “Get back here as soon as you can.”

Dean nodded and turned around. A gust of wind chilled Dean to his bones through his windbreaker. His steps became more hesitant as he got closer to the rest stop’s building. He began to make out more and more details of the man sitting on the bench inside. His cheeks were sunken, his hair falling out.

When he walked in, he saw that there were more people there than he’d seen at first. There were two young men looking over the maps and a woman who had just walked out of the bathroom. He didn’t notice how all of their eyes followed the bag in his hand when he walked in.

Dean walked up to the vending machine and began to key in the code for a Hostess apple pie.

“Heya, kid.” A voice grumbled in Dean’s ear, he turned around to see the man with the sunken in cheeks. His face was inches away from Dean’s own. His teeth looked like most of them had rotted out and the rest of them had been hanging on for dear life.

“Hi…”

“You have it?”

“That depends,” Dean looked down at the wallet the man held and didn’t continue to speak until the man handed him a wad of twenties. He shrugged, “Sorry buddy, no can do with that.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“I mean that there is no way that’s enough. I’m giving you a pound, and there isn’t exactly financial aid for this sort of stuff. This is twenty-one thousand bucks. What you’re giving me is enough for a gram, maybe. Why do you need so much anyway?”

The man smiled, the rotting teeth becoming more visible. “You’re John’s boy, aren’t you?” Dean took a step back and bumped into the vending machine. “I’mma take that as a yes. Well, you see, your daddy owes me a whole lot. Owes all of us a whole lot. So he said, next time we just so happen to run into each other he would actually pay us back. And if he doesn’t have the money this time around, he would bring in something we could enjoy ourselves with. Perhaps you and that bag of yours are the peace offering.”

                                                                           

“Objection.” Sam cut in after a long silence. Dean wasn’t even sure how long it had lasted.

“On what grounds?” The judge asked

“He’s antagonizing the witness, Your Honor. The relationship between Dean and our father has near to nothing to do with the case.”

“Very well, sustained.”

Sam looked at Dean to see how he was taking the question. He knew the answer himself. His brother’s skin had become pale, the blood drained from his face. His eyes were still locked on his father’s. “Also,” Sam spoke up again. “Can we call a recess? If not, is it possible for the witness to take a break and gather his thoughts somehow?”

The judge nodded and the guards got up to grab Dean from the stand, but he did not bother to dismiss the jury.

“May I approach the bench, your honor?” Zachariah said and waited for the judge to allow it before he stepped up. “I have a request. May I call Samuel Moore to the witness bench?”

“I’ll allow it.”

“Wait,” Sam interrupted. “You can’t call a witness without earlier notice. And even if you could, why me?”

“Oh, Sam,” Zachariah leaned closer to Sam and said barely over a whisper. “I get that this is your first really big case, and I was going to go easy on you. At least until I couldn’t help but notice that you referred to John as your father.”

“Please, take a seat, Mr. Moore.” The judge said and then motioned for Zachariah to start his questioning.

“So, we should start with you stating your full name to the court.”

Sam responded easily. “Samuel Henry Moore.”

“Is it true that you married recently?”

“Yes, but I don’t see what that has to do with anything?”

“Is it also true that you changed your name when you married Jessica Lee Moore?”

“Yes,” Sam nodded. “Her father insisted that she keep the family name going because she only has sisters. I was willing.”

“And what was your name before you married?”

“Campbell.”

“Your mother’s name?”

“Mary Campbell.”

“And your father?”

Sam hesitated and looked down to his hands. “Unknown…”

Zachariah raised an eyebrow. “What makes you say that?”

“My birth certificate,” he responded coolly. “Under father, it says unknown.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m positive,” Sam nodded. “I have not met John Winchester until the beginning of this case. All I know about him is what I’ve heard during this case and what I needed to research about him to actually counter what you would bring up. I know _nothing_.”

                                                                             

“Sam, just stay still. Okay?” Dean hissed. His hand was pressed hard onto Sam’s mouth. He almost couldn’t breathe, but he guessed that was the whole point.

“Dad is ruining my entire life…” Sam mumbled low enough that he could barely even hear himself.

John’s weekends, though few and far between, were the worst weekends of his life. Most of the time, he stayed with his grandmother or his uncle. Those weekends he was safe in either in Lawrence, Kansas or Sioux Falls, South Dakota. He would go to school, was a straight “A” student, and stayed at home doing extra credit work so maybe one day he would get into Stanford.

He heard barking in the distance, and Dean pressed his hand harder on to Sam’s mouth, silencing him. The barking got louder, along with the sound of heavy steps and deep voices.

“Where the hell did those two even go?” one of them said.

“How the fuck should I know? We’ve been chasing them down for hours now.”

“Well, they can’t hide forever.”

“Yeah, especially with how much they’re carrying.” The voices faded and Sam couldn’t make out anything else that was said between the police officers. Little did they know that Dean and Sam had dropped the weed behind a garbage can near the diner near the diner just before they bolted. Once they were out of hearing distance, Dean pulled his hand away from Sam’s mouth.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Sam said, taking a deep breath. “Peachy. I mean, we’re in the middle of nowhere with bloodhounds after us because of the crap the world’s worst father made us carry. But other than that, I’m good.”

“Don’t talk about him like that,” Dean peeked out of their hiding space on the fire escape in the alley. “He’s doing his best, I swear.”

“Well, his best is crap,” Sam sighed, looking out over the alley. “I want to go home.”

“Hate to break it to you, Sammy, but grandma Deanna is gone. Wherever me and dad are is home. You’re a Winchester, remember?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Not a Winchester. Not for sure anyway.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“How do you know for sure?”

“Because I was there when they were trying for you. They thought a new kid would help their relationship.”

“You were four when I was born, how do you remember that?”

“Neither of us have a whole lot of memories of mom,” Dean said, finally meeting Sam’s eyes. “So, I hold onto everything that I remember her doing.”

It was quiet between them for the longest time. Sam’s heart was still pounding in his ears. The adrenalin flowing through his veins had yet to stop. “What was mom like?” Sam finally asked.

Dean hesitated on his answer. “She was nice. She actually stuck around and didn’t bolt like Dad did even before mom died and he had to go and find himself. And she died six months after having you, so the last time I saw herwas when you were born. Before dad and her officially broke everything off.”

“Do you still have that picture of her in your wallet?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Is it okay if I have it?”

“Yeah… It’d be better off with you.”


	2. I'm So Sorry

Dean was back in the concrete and brick room. His head was spinning and he felt nauseous. He didn’t know why, but he was for certain the case wouldn’t necessarily be going that fast. Zachariah was throwing questions at him without even giving Dean a chance to figure everything out. Not to mention throwing those questions about his dad out there that made him think of some of the longest repressed memories he had. Dean wanted his comfort back. Dean wanted Cas. But, he couldn’t have him. Cas was in a hospital bed fighting to live because of him. Cas didn’t deserve any of the things that Dean had dragged him into, and yet he was the one to pay for his crappy actions.

“Everything okay?” Dean looks up to see Sam walking in once more.

“You guys are done?” He asked.

“Yeah, we’re in recess until tomorrow.”

“So, I get to leave?”

“Not if you’re in police custody.”

Dean tried moving his hands, but both were restricted by the handcuffs having been locked tightly around his wrists. “Touche.”

“You want to know how Cas is doing,” Sam suggested. “Don’t you?”

Dean nodded. “More than anything, yeah. They haven’t let me anywhere near the hospital since they got a hold of me.”

“That might be for good reason. You were hysteric last time you were there.”

“No I wasn’t. And even if I was, why the hell should it matter?”

Sam scoffed, “I get it, you’ve known Cas for a long time, but you’re acting like he’s kind of the end all for you,” When Dean only responded by looking at the ground, Sam’s eyes went wide. “You do realize that’s not going to last, right?”

“A guy can dream.”

“He has a daughter, Dean. And a wife.”

Dean sighed, and leaned against the cold wall. “So what you’re saying is, I don’t matter to him.”

“That’s not what I-” Sam tried to explain himself, but Dean cut him off. From his seat, he glared up at his brother.

“You only really met Cas once. That’s not enough to get a full life story from him. You don’t know anything about what he and I actually went through. We swore to each other.”

“You’re pining. You sound like an obsessed teenager,” Sam sighed and looked back to the door. “I’m going home. You’re staying in the county jail tonight and tomorrow, they’re going to want you to talk about dad. Every single detail that you can remember about the drug ring. Including Castiel. You’re goal here was protecting him, remember? Choose your words carefully.”

****

Dean stayed in the lobby of the apartment building more often than he stayed in his own little home. Mostly because of the overtaking want to just use while he’s in his apartment. His needle marked arms, although healed, still were obvious on his skin. Lining up the veins especially. He kept to much of his product in his apartment, but there was nowhere safe to put it besides there. So, whenever he is at home, his skin tingles. The unused needles were still in his medicine cabinet because he didn’t have the heart to throw them out yet.

“You know, they got police patrolling the area now because of you.” The secretary, Hester, said as she glanced up at Dean who was pacing the floor.

“What, are they going to start sending dogs after me next?”

“You really shouldn’t be joking about that. This is a prestigious apartment complex.”

“Ah yes, home of the lower middle class which I don’t technically fit into,” Dean stepped towards the front desk and took out a small, clear bag with marijuana in it. “And I can only afford living here by bribing you and selling to all of the residents.”

She glanced around the room, before grabbing the bag quickly and stuffing it into her pocket.

“See what I mean?”

Hester didn’t respond and continued scribbling on a notepad that she had in front of her.

Dean looked around the room lobby again, his eyes lingering on the door. He quickly checked his watch.

“It’s late, Dean,” Hester said looking up from her pad of paper once more. “You should just let him off today. He’s going through a lot.”

“Like what?”

“Like things he doesn’t really feel the need to tell you.”

“And tell you instead? I’m disappointed,” Dean said in mock sadness. “He spills his whole life story out to the woman who works at the apartment building that’s close to kicking him out on the streets but, not to the man who makes him forget about all that pent up stress? Castiel Novak worships me.”

“You and I see worship in two very different ways,” Dean turned around to see a man with messy, dark hair and toned tan skin. Then there were his eyes.  A cold, but immensely captivating, blue. “Hello, Dean.”

“Heya, Angel.”

“Don’t call me that,” Cas responded quickly before going to check his mail. “I’ve been called by my stage name enough today.”

Dean walked up behind him, then leaned against the letterbox. “How’s work going? Did you lose any ones in there?”

“I don’t take singles. I’ve been there long enough that I only take five and above.”

“That’s impressive, how much did you make today?”

Cas sighed, looking down to the ground. “It doesn’t matter, it’s still not enough.”

“I said you could borrow a little.”

“I don’t like to be in debt. Especially from people I’m already in debt with,” Cas closed the mail box and began to look through the mail. “Now, if you excuse me. I should be going.”

“Without a parting gift?” Dean asked, surprised.

“Yes, I actually plan on stopping. Cold turkey.”

“Was it your own choice or was that your wife? Who, might I add, still doesn’t know what you do for a living.”

“It was her who suggested it. At least until Claire leaves the nest.”

“She’s only fifteen right now. Hate to break it to you, but you have a long few years ahead of you. And I’m just trying to help out.”

“I don’t need your help, Dean. You’re a dealer, not a therapist. You’re acting like a devil on my shoulder. I’m trying to do something nice for my family and you have to go and try and ruin it.” Cas turned away to climb the stairs to the second floor where his apartment was.

“Just trying to help, Angel,” Dean said as he watched Castiel ascend the stairs. Once he was out of sight, he mumbled to himself. “A demon on an angel’s shoulder. I don’t really think I’m that bad…”

His back ached as he lay down in what would most likely be his bunk for the next few years, no matter how the case would end up. He couldn't quite tell what time it was. There was no windows in his cell and they had already threatened him with solitary confinement just because the jail was already filled to the brim. SHU was just where they had left. He couldn't fall asleep due to all of the noises coming from other cells. They ranged from something as normal as snoring to the cracking of bones and screaming from the other cell blocks.

"Your bad vibes are making it hard to sleep, Winchester," one of his bunk mates said. “Do you always brood like that?”

“Shut up, Ash. You know that fresh meat are always like that.” Another voice joined the conversation, this one more rough sounding and with a smooth southern drawl. " 'sides, the guards are going to come in to wake you up in a few minutes anyway, you've slept enough already." He got up from his lower bunk to meet Dean’s eyes. "I'm Benny LaFitte, by the way. We didn't go through formalities earlier."

"I'm Dean-"

"-Winchester, yeah we've heard about you already. Your father is sort of a legend around here. For better or for worse."

"That sounds like him."

"News travels fast in Purgatory" Dean just stared at Benny in confusion. "It's what the guards call it because apparently, this place is where all the monsters go."

"And by monsters he means lifers who were taken out of Max for something about our trials," Ash added in. "Like me, I got in for hacking into a military base, but I'm only here because they want me to be a witness for a drug crime even though I barely knew the guy.”

“And you?” Dean asked, looking back towards Benny.

“I think that can of worms would be better unopened, chief,” he scoffed “Wouldn’t want to scare you away.”

“I doubt whatever you got can scare me.”

“Don’t be to sure about that, brother.”

There was a crackling noise over the PA system, then a voice spoke. “It’s time to wake up inmates. Breakfast ain’t gonna last forever.”

Benny smirked. “If anything is gonna scare you away, it would probably be all the food they're giving you. I swear, that shit shouldn’t even being going to dogs.”

“Of course they wouldn’t give it to dogs,” Ash cut in as he got up from his bunk and pulled his sweatshirt on. “Their dogs get Purina or Beggin’ Strips. Hell, what I’d give for what their dogs are getting probably would get me a whole ‘nother 48 months to my sentence.”

Dean sighed, “Well, whatever they’re offering, I’m sure I’ve had worse.”

“Don’t get too cocky, chief.”

The three of them walked down to the cafeteria, Dean getting unnerving looks all of the way there. Some leaned more towards flattering, though others looked as if they were thrown in prison specifically for something Dean did.

One of the COs told Benny that they had to sit together because they didn’t want any more trouble because of last time. Although he was annoyed, Benny reluctantly did so.

“What does last time mean?” Dean risked as they sat down at the bench assigned to them.

“Benny almost ripped some guys head off,” one of the passing inmates said in response. “Literally.”

“I would have actually done it if I’d had the chance. He was insane.”

“Says the man who got in for ripping someone’s throat out with your teeth.”

Dean suddenly felt nauseous. He remembered hearing about a case on the news about some guy who was getting life because of a dispute and that the first choice was to put him in a mental facility. He had joked about it and said that maybe the guy had a few too many bath salts, but now that he could actually see the man, face to face, he was scared he might be right.

“You okay, Dean?” Benny started as he looked at Dean. “Those big, green eyes of yours looked like they just stared death himself in the face.”

“Yeah,” he laughed his fright off. “Yeah, I’m fine. I just remembered I had to do something. Are there any phones I can get to?”

As soon as he got the all clear from an officer who let him speak on the phone, he dialled Sam’s numbered. It was late enough, he was certain that his brother would be awake already and ready to pick him up from that shithole.

The phone rang twice before Sam answered with a groggy and confused hello.

“Hey, Mr. Moore. Is now a bad time?”

Dean could hear groaning and shuffling over the phone. “Dean? Where are you calling me from?”

“Uh, the jail you made me spend the night in,” Dean said, annoyed. “You don’t know where you put me?”

“I wasn’t the one in charge of that. I’m just trying to make sure you’re not in the same jail as John.”

“Can you just pick me up, please? Get bail or something.”

“You’re expensive. It might take me months to actually pay your way out. Besides, you’re only going to be there until they finish questioning you and Cas.”

“Cas?” Dean asked. “How are they questioning Cas? He’s not exactly… awake.”

“He woke up yesterday. Stable enough to actually leave. Albeit with a lot of pain meds.”

“He’s okay?” Dean felt his voice shake. He glanced around quickly to make sure no one else could hear what he was saying. “He’s been okay and you’re just telling me now? What the hell, Sam? I have been worried sick about him since the moment that asshole pulled the trigger. I swear to God, I’ll kill him if he ever even dares to show his face again.”

“Okay, okay, take a few deep breaths and try to calm down. Your goal here is keeping Cas safe, right? You can’t just talk about him that loudly. That place is probably bugged to hell.”

Dean glanced around the room again, to try and find some sort of camera or microphone. The hallway where the phones were was kept nicer that the rest of the jail, at least of what he had seen of it, anyway. The walls were painted a clean white and there was a glass door that led outside. Dean knew it was locked. He had took one step too close to the door when the alarms started going off. It was probably just there to make all the inmates feel a little bit worse about being trapped.

“You still there?” Sam asked over the phone?”

“Yeah, I’m here. Just calming down like you said. And if this place is bugged, wouldn’t they listen in on the phone calls too?”

“Yeah, I thought of that. That’s why I’ll be there in about an hour to talk to you more about all of this. Bye.”

“Wait-” Dean cut him off before his brother could hang up. “It shouldn’t take an hour to get here. What’s the detor?”

“I’m visiting the hospital, I need to fill Cas in on everything too. He is my client after all.”

“Can you pick me up first or something? I need to make sure he’s okay.”

Sam sighed, “Well, you might be able to see him a lot sooner than you think in somewhere a little unexpected. Just, don’t get your hopes up, okay? He might not be to happy too see you.”

“You kidding me? Cas was never happy to see me at first. It’s not something I’m not used to.”

 

The music pounded in his chest. He hadn’t been in a place like that in years. Outside of them, on the other hand, plenty of times. Most of his usual customers were frequent fliers of bars and seek entertainment by that of dancers in skimpy clothing and sexy exotic dancers. He was there on a mission, a very important mission. Just the hour before, he had learned that his partner in crime had just been arrested. Sure, they worked on different sides of the United States, but he was still a very important part of the cartel. It wasn’t just him either, the entire ring had been cracked down on suddenly. John had pretty much disappeared off of the face of the planet, suppliers from Europe and Mexico couldn’t get back into the US, nor could the transporters. All that was left was the dealers, who couldn’t do anything without access to the goods. Dean needed to recruit anyway. Who better than a man with a wife and kids who can’t even pay for their crappy apartment in their crappy neighborhood?

He walked closer to the platform and looked up to see that he’d arrived just in time to see Castiel finishing up his dance. He had to admit, after seeing the man in tight, silver boxers dancing to classic rock, his tanned skin sparkling under the light, Dean’s mouth began to water. If Dean had to have a new partner, it might as well be someone who was very pleasing on the eyes.

Dean took a ten out of his pocket and lifted it up as he said “Hey, Angel!” just barely over the music.

Cas looked down and grabbed the bill, but froze when he saw who was giving it to him. “What the hell are you doing here?” he said taking a few steps forward to hear Dean and to collect the rest of what was given to him.

“You know, I could imagine you being a bartender here, but this?”

“Pays better. Still, you didn’t answer my question.”

“It’s strictly business, Cas. No need to worry. Well, that’s unless you say we can’t talk. Because then I might just have to find Amelia and explain to her that her supposed trophy husband is actually shaking his ass to pay the bills. Not a very good role model to your teen.”

“I’m not worrying,” he glanced around the room. “After I get off stage, you have two minutes to explain whatever it is that you had to come here for.”

“Whatever you say, Angel.”

Dean waited at the bar for Cas. He looked back to the stage, to see that he was no longer there. He should be speaking to him at that exact second, but of course Cas would skip out on him. It wasn’t like it was that hard. Dean was just as desperate as Cas was, and he’d skip out on himself too.

“Okay, your two minutes starts right now,” Cas said as he stepped up behind him. “Please don’t waste it.”

“That’s not really enough time to pitch a business idea, Cas.”

“Don’t call me that here.”

“Would you prefer Angel?”

“Already wasted ten seconds, Dean.”

“Alright. How would you feel to partner up with me?”

“No. fifteen seconds wasted now. Are we done here? Can I go?”

“Listen, okay? We both need help. You with paying rent and me with handling a fucking international business. C’mon, I’m offering you a job right now. You’d get more in a year than you’ve ever seen in your life. All in cold hard cash.”

“I’ve been doing this my entire life, you should have seen how much I made when I was younger. Besides, this pays well.”

“But not well enough. You had to move from your deluxe apartment in the sky to your shabby box in a Red Light district. Not the best jump.”

Cas sighed and looked down, becoming interested with the pattern of the rock on the bar table. “What are you willing to pay me?”

“A quarter of whatever I make.”

“I’ll only do it if you give me half.

“Half?”

“Yes,” Cas stated. “Half, and only half. No convincing me to go lower. Because if you’re asking me, you must be pretty desperate as well. Because I truly doubt you’re doing this out of the goodness of your heart. Is that a deal?”

“Feisty, I like it.”

“Answer the question.”

Dean smirked into his drink. “Yes, sir.”

  

“It’s good to see you again, Mr. Winchester,” Zachariah greeted him as he paced past the bench. “You’ve collected yourself, I assume?” Dean just nodded. All he wanted to do was get everything over with. His palms still shook whenever his father looked at him, and he wanted to leave as soon as possible.

“Very well,” Zachariah said, and stopped his pace in front of Dean. “I’m going to ask you this again. “What exactly were his actions that caused you to join his line of work.”

“Neglect,” Dean said. “It was mostly neglect. He would drop me off at some of his colleagues’ houses for weeks at a time. And when I did stay with him, I was always in the back of the car waiting for directions to do the dirty work he didn’t want to do himself.”

“So, you were his mule?”

Dean shook his head. “He didn’t let me carry too far. I didn’t even really deal when I was with him. If anything at all, I was bait. A young bright eyed kid like me, definitely got more attention than him, which was his goal.”

John’s lawyer nodded, as he began his pacing. The only sound inside the courtroom for moments was the sound of Zachariah’s expensive shoes hitting the granite floor and one of the members of the jury coughing. “One more question,” He said, as he held up one finger, his back still turned to Dean. “What exactly is your relationship with Castiel Novak?”

His heart skipped a beat just at the name being said. Even though Zachariah wasn’t turned toward him, he must have sensed Dean’s hesitation. He turned around, with an eyebrow raised. “You do know Mr. Novak, correct?” Dean nodded. “Good, what was your relationship with him?”

“We were close,” Dean started. “We were good friends.”

“How did you two know each other?”

“We lived in the same apartment complex.”

“And is that all?”

Dean shook his head. “He also worked at a club I went to a lot. Most of our meetings were there.”

“Did he know about your dealing?”

“He traveled with me for a short time, so yes. He was aware of the dealing.”

“And has he ever met John Winchester?”

“No, he hasn’t.”

“If we ask him the same questions, he would respond the same way?”

“Yes, if you could ask him.”

Zachariah looked back at Sam and said something that Dean couldn’t catch. “Well,” he spoke up. “I’ve asked enough of him. Mr. Moore?”

Sam shook his head. “I have nothing to ask either. He’s defended himself enough.”

“Very well,” The judge said, and hit his gavel against the sound block. “Dean Winchester, you are dismissed. The court would like to call Castiel Novak to the stand.”

Dean felt his heart stop and his head began to spin. He looked quickly to the door of the holding room to see Castiel walk out, two guards holding onto his arms. He was wearing what he had been the last time Dean saw him. The same clothes that he was wearing when he was lifted up on the gurney, lights flashing around him and the shouting of paramedics filling the silence that was there moments before. His dark jeans had been cleaned and no longer were covered in dirt and blood, but still left holes exposing the knees. His shirt didn’t make it out as lucky. The once pristine white dress shirt was still grimy looking, the blood stains had set to long, and the blood nor the dirt could be washed out entirely and centered around a hole right under his left shoulder. The only piece of clothing that didn’t look like it had just gone through hell was a pristine silver ring that looked as if it was glued onto his left ring finger. Just looking at his clothes you could tell exactly what happened to him. If it wasn’t for what he wore, it would look like nothing even happened to him.

“Cas,” Dean barely got out before two more guards grabbed onto him and escorted him back to the cold, back, room.

The guards pushed them past each other. Dean felt like he was going in slow motion. As they passed each other, Dean couldn’t help but look and try at Castiel’s too blue eyes.

“I’m so sorry.”

Castiel saw the look, and heard what Dean said. Instead of accepting the apology, like he knew Dean would have expected, all he did was glare harder. If looks could kill, Dean would have been dead before they would have even ended in this mess.

“No you’re not.”

  

“Your father has lovely handwriting.” Castiel knew it wasn’t the best of conversation starters, but he’s started in worse situations before. Dean didn’t stop to look at him, nor did he care that Cas had gotten hold of his father’s journal. It was full of dates and events, along with pictures scribbled alongside with the words. “He was good at drawing as well.”

“Don’t get too excited, Cas,” Dean said from the bathroom. “It’s not some sob story about how he wanted to be an artist and everything suddenly went wrong. He isn’t Hitler. I know he’s bad, but he’s not that bad.”

“I never said that he was bad,” he insisted. “I was just looking at his journal.”

“Well, it’s a whole bunch of tortured soul, shit. I suggest you don’t read it if you want to sleep at night. After he left the soldier side, the PTSD hit him hard. And then mom died and it just got worse.”

“You’re telling me a lot for just really having gotten to know me.”

“Not really, I’ve known you for a while.” Dean stepped out of the bathroom and then walked over to the full length mirror, adjusting his tie. “Well, I’ve known about you for a while. C’mon, Cas, you aren’t that hard to read. Don’t give yourself too much credit.”

Cas huffed and sat the journal onto the bed before standing up. He stood behind Dean and looked at him through the mirror. “And you don’t look like you could be the head of the company I supposedly work for. Amelia isn’t stupid.”

“No,” Dean corrected. “But she is hopeful.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“Hell no,” He ran a hand through his hair, trying to tame it. “In this case, it’s the best goddamn thing ever. You guys need the money, and she trusts you.”

Cas scoffed. “I’m sorry, are we talking about the same woman? She doesn’t trust me. I never come home on time, the only money I bring into the house is wads of crumpled singles-”

“I thought you didn’t take singles,” Dean interrupted, before turning around to meet Cas in the eye. “It will work, trust me.”

“Why should I trust you?” Cas asked, looking up at him.

“Because right now, I’m your boss. And you’re trying to convince your wife that you got promoted and need to work somewhere else, preferably without moving your family. Got it?”

“I don’t feel right lying to them.”

“Well, first thing you need to learn about this line of work is that lying will save your ass more than telling the truth will,” He reached out to straighten Cas’ collar. “I’ll lead, you follow. Deal?”

  

“So, Mr. Novak,” Zahariah began. “Can you state where you worked before you met Dean Winchester?”

“I worked at a large corporation that sold pharmaceuticals, actually. Before that I sold airtime for AM radio.”

“Is that true?”

“Yes.”

“Than why is it that when I looked for the employees at both of these places, there was no Castiel Novak?”

“Because Castiel isn’t the most common name,” He stated, “The name is too suspicious, so I go by my middle name instead. James Novak”

“And in circles, other than work, what do people call you?”

“Castiel. Why?”

“And is it true that you worked with Dean?”

“I traveled with him, I didn’t work with him. And we knew each other before.”

“What exactly caused you to want to travel with him.”

“He offered to pay me at first,” Cas answered. “Then later on, I actually did it because I enjoyed the thrill.”

“While you traveled with him, did you participate in any of his work?”

Cas shook his head. “No sir, I did not.”

“While you traveled, were you ever introduced to John Winchester?”

He shook his head again. “I didn’t know anything about Mr. Winchester until very recently.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment!


	3. Take me to Church

Castiel made sure they wouldn’t be able to get any information to him that would help the case. That was all Sam said he needed to do, which at the time sounded a lot more difficult than it actually was. He was escorted back to the holding area and was sat down across from Dean. The guards that held Cas then left the room again, only leaving the ones that had brought Dean in at first.

“So,” Dean said, breaking the silence. “How are you feeling?”

“I really don’t think it would be a good idea for me to talk to you right now, Dean.”

“Why’s that?”

Cas glanced back at the officers standing by the door. “I think the reasons are obvious.”

“They won’t care,” Dean said waving them off, “I’m just asking if you’re okay.”

“Well, I’m not,” he scoffed. “The only things holding me together right now are stitches and an assortment of pain medication.”

“I meant, how are you taking all of this?” Dean asked, motioning around the room.

“Dean,” Cas started. “I really don’t think you should be talking to me right now. For both of our safety.”

Dean shook his head. “What the hell are you talking about, Cas. I’m not doing anything wrong, they won’t care.”

Cas leaned in to be closer to Dean. “You don’t get it, do you Dean?” He said in a harsh whisper. “I don’t forgive you for a single thing that I’ve been put through by you. And if you say one more word to me, I feel like I would end up killing you. Whatever we had before, it’s gone. You can’t just pick something up like that, okay? Don’t. Talk. To. Me.”

“Witnesses, you’re too close,” One of the officers said, stepping into their space. “If you do that again, I’ll have to put both of you in handcuffs, not just orange jumpsuit over their,” He motioned towards Dean.

Dean was frozen in shock momentarily, then cleared his throat, to get the guards attention. “I feel threatened,” he said, his tone cocky. “He just threatened to kill me.”

The other guard stepped up. “Is cuffing this guy the only way you’ll shut up?” Dean nodded. The guards then preceded to get handcuffs out. When they yanked his arms back he winced in pain, but then Dean didn’t seem to care about Cas’ well being.

“You two are going to sit here quietly until it is put on recess, you understand?” They both nodded. “Good, now sit here and shut the hell up.”

They sat there with their mouths shut for the rest of the hour, waiting for there to be a recess or something. The rooms were supposed to be sound proof, but if they listened hard enough they could make out a few words. Another witness had been brought in, Dean nor Cas could really recognize the voice, and apparently he wasn’t giving anything necessary, so a break was called, one that would last weeks.

“Wait, when is the case supposed to go back on?” Dean asked the guard.

“In two weeks, but don’t get too excited, both of you confessed to some serious shit while you were up there. You two might be getting your own cases sometime soon.”

Dean shrugged. “You’re probably right about that. At least we have a good lawyer.”

As soon as Dean said that, Sam opened the door and looked towards the guards.

“Can you give us a moment?” They nodded and left the back room quickly. When they were out of earshot, Sam began again. “My wife hates me now, and I’m sure my bank does too.”

“What are you getting at, Sammy?”

“Since neither of you were technically convicted yet, technically, I bailed both of you out. I wasn’t going to leave you two in there for two weeks. I didn’t even want to leave you in there for a night.”

“So, why exactly does your wife hate you now?”Cas asked, looking up at Sam.

He sighed. “Because after spending all of that the only place I can really afford you two to stay at is my house.”

“I swear to God, Dean. Every goddamn time!” Sam shouted angrily as he walked out of the police office, Dean and Cas walking behind him. “I mean, you’re in California. How did you get arrested for carrying drugs, in California? What the hell did you do? Try to sell some LSD to a pastor or something? I had to say you were a pledge and then make up some Frat name so I didn’t need to pay to bail you. Do you know how much that would have been?”

“Yeah, I do know how much that would cost, because I would probably be the one you would get the money from,” Dean finally said in response, grabbing the back of Sam’s jacket so he could stop walking and turn around. “Thanks for the help, but I didn’t need it.”

“Even if you could’ve gotten yourself out, what about your friend whose name I still don’t remember…” Sam looked at Cas. “What’s your name again?”

“Castiel.”

“Thanks, sorry for forgetting.”

“It’s alright.”

Sam turned back to Dean and began yelling again. “What about Castiel? I doubt you could’ve gotten both him and you out! I could get arrested for lying to get you guys out!”

“Cas and I could have handled ourselves. And can you shut the hell up? Somebody could hear,” Dean sighed and watched as Sam still kept looking around giddily. “What the hell are you on, dude? Adderall?”

Sam sighed. “I’m not on anything. I’m just pissed that you would do something so idiotic.”

“C’mon, Sammy, I’ve been doing this my whole life.”

“Yeah, and if you hadn’t been doing this your whole life, you probably wouldn’t have been in jail a few minutes ago.”

“It wasn’t jail, Sam,” Dean said “It was police custody, there is a huge difference.”

Castiel had never been to Sam’s house in the years that they had known each other. The house was prairie styled and too large just for Sam and Jess. They had a little garden out front and a white picket fence separating them from their neighbors. Although it was only one floor, it looked much larger on the inside. The interior was absolutely gorgeous. With a color scheme of rich browns and dark greens, the entirety of the house felt earthy. And everything Cas wanted, but never had the chance to have.

Dean walked in like he was already at home, and after Castiel had some time to think about it, he probably was at home. Cas wasn’t aware how long he was out, the doctors and Sam had told him at one point, but he couldn’t quite get himself to remember. The passage of time while asleep was always hard to get a hold of.

Castiel stayed in the living room, far too distracted by the pictures and other decorations to explore the house more.

“There’s a picture of you up here somewhere, you know?” A voice said. Although it was soft, the sudden noise startled Cas. He turned around to see a blonde woman in a sleeveless white blouse and black leggings. Then, of course, there was the most noticeable thing.

“You’re pregnant.” Cas couldn’t help but say.

She rolled her eyes playfully, “Hello to you too, Castiel.”

“Sorry, Jessica, I just couldn’t help but notice,” he said sheepishly. “How far along are you?”

“Five months,” Jess smiled. “It has been a while since we’ve seen each other.”

“Yes, the last time I saw you was when Dean and I were giving you your wedding gift two years ago.”

She grabbed a framed photo off the mantel. “Like I said, there was a picture of you in here somewhere.”

The photo was of them at Sam and Jess’ wedding. Cas had been standing on the right, with Dean’s hand on his hip. Next to Dean, was Sam who was far too distracted with Jessica to pay attention to the photographer. All of them were smiling widely except for him. His smile was gentle and locked on Jessica. It was a nice memory to capture for the newlyweds, but Cas remember the night a little differently. Mostly with Dean almost relapsing during cocktail hour in the men’s bathroom with Cas sitting right next to him, trying to talk him out of it and pulling the needle from his hand.

The guests asked where Dean and Cas had been, they just responded that they’d gotten a little distracted and threw some loving eyes at each other to get the curious people off their case. If anyone looked hard enough, they would have seen it in Dean’s eyes. Sam noticed something was wrong with Dean, but he hadn’t been willing to answer the question fully.

“Cas,” Dean said as he tossed a pair of basketball shorts and a Beatles shirt towards him. “You can sleep in that. We’ll wash your clothes in the morning. I think you’re staying in the basement with me. I can show you around if you want.”

Castiel wasn’t sure how to respond. He felt that if he opened his mouth, he would shout more and continue to blame Dean for something that wasn’t his fault. For a time, they were all each other had. He knew there was no reason for him to take his anger out on Dean. Yet, all he did was nod.

“Jess, you don’t mind if I steal Cas for a little, do you?”

She shook her head. “Not at all, you I should be heading to sleep anyway, while I still have the chance. And I have a pretty busy work day tomorrow.”

Dean nodded. “Awesome. Oh, and if you have any weird cravings tonight, just ask Sam.”

Jess smiled. “Why? You were willing to help out a few nights ago.”

“That’s because I needed a good distraction and driving around a city just to find a specific sort of ridged chips took all night.” He shrugged. “Just thinking about you, Jess.”

She rolled her eyes. “Whatever you say, Dean. Sam and I will be gone in the morning, just so you don’t worry.”

He signalled a thumbs up to her before he led Cas to the basement.

“How long was I out?” He asked as he followed Dean down the stairs.”

“As far as I know, about two weeks,” Dean flicked on the lights in the basement “I’ll sleep on the pullout couch since I know the whole getting shot thing must be rough on the back.”

Cas couldn’t hide the small smile that appeared on his face. “It wouldn’t make a difference to me. The pain medication isn’t quite out of my system yet. Everything feels numb.”

“Good numb or bad numb?”

“Like I had Novocain injected into my entire body a few hours ago,” He shrugged. “I can feel pressure and I’m sure if I fell down the stairs it would hurt a little, but anything less than that probably won’t make much of a difference. Does that sound good or bad?”

Dean shrugged. “Sounds pretty okay to me. I mean, at least you aren’t lying on the ground drooling,” Dean motioned for Cas to walk in front of him. “So, this is my humble abode. The basement isn’t finished, of course. I mean, at least there’s carpet and a TV. I don’t have that much crap to put in here anyway. The couch is from a thrift store, but the bed was mine when we lived in that apartment complex. They got most of my shit from there after we ran off, knowing I’d probably crash at their place eventually.”

“It’s not as nice as upstairs.”

“That’s because I didn’t pay for upstairs,” Dean smiled. “Also, didn’t you want to kill me earlier?”

“I’m still angry. It’s just,” Cas sighed, “I’m tired. Where am I sleeping again?”

“You never answered where you wanted to sleep.”

“Oh, well, I’ll just have the couch then. Thank you.”

Dean nodded. “Well, if you need me, I’m just on the other side of that wall, okay?” He didn’t wait for an answer before he walked into his room.

Cas took a deep breath as he began to change his clothes. He tossed his used clothes onto the ground and slipped on Dean’s. As he pulled the shirt over his head, he couldn’t help but breathe in, inhaling the scent that was just so Dean, that he didn’t understand how to describe.

As he lay in bed, all he wanted to do was sleep, but his mind just kept him awake. As soon as he began to drift off, his mind would wake him back up, telling him to feel guilty about treating Dean the way he did. He would never hurt Dean, not really. If anyone were to so much as touch him, he might kill them on the spot. Cas ended up staring at the ceiling for hours, drifting in and out of sleep. He missed sleeping next to Dean. He missed the gentle snoring that Dean did when he was in a deep sleep. He missed being able to hold himself against Dean while they both just talked. Their relationship hadn’t lasted the longest time, but he wanted it back more than anything. It was his fault that it ended.

Cas got up out of the pullout bed and walked over to where Dean told him he would be sleeping. Dean was lying on his bed, the covers and the shirt Dean had fallen asleep in having been forgotten and tossed off to the side. “Are you awake?” Cas said, barely above a whisper.

“Yeah,” Dean responded, his voice rough from sleep. “I woke up a few minutes ago. It’s hard to sleep with you tossing and turning on a bed made out of springs.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s fine, I wasn’t that tired in the first place.”

“That’s not what I was apologizing for,” Cas walked over to the bed and sat on the edge of it, meeting Dean in the eye. “You know I’d never hurt you. I’d never want to hurt you. I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you like that.”

Dean sat up, “You didn’t hurt me, Cas.”

“No, but I was close to.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t.” Dean moved so he would be sitting next to Cas.

“That doesn’t matter,” Cas’ voice shook. “I saw your face after I said that, I should’ve apologized then.”

“It’s fine, Cas. Really. Yeah, it threw me off a little, but it’s fine, really. With all the baggage we’re carrying, and all that shit I put you through, I expected you to crack earlier.”

“You didn’t put me through anything that I didn’t want.” He shook his head. “I could have held onto it a little bit longer. At least long enough to not put anything on you… I’m so sorry.” Cas leaned his head onto Dean’s shoulder.

“Wait, held onto what?”

He took a deep breath. “Before I went to the court, my mother-” He stopped himself. “Naomi, and Amelia came to visit.”

“That doesn’t sound like something they would do.”

“I was surprised by it as well. Amelia had told Naomi everything that happened, I could tell just by looking at them. When they both walked in, even the way that they both looked at me was just so different. She told me that she fell in love with James but as time went on she began to hate Castiel.”

Dean hesitated. “Care to restate, Cas?”

“I introduced myself to her as James, she would call me Jimmy. Apparently to her, I was a whole different person as Jimmy rather than Castiel. I even talked and reacted to things differently. And… and she doesn’t want me to see Claire until I’m less of myself.”

“And your mom?”

“She’s not my mother,” Cas corrected. “She was my mother figure and my guardian, and now she’s not even that. Naomi said that I was an abomination and that I would be going to hell. I mean, I’ve gotten that speech many times but, it just broke something this time.”

Dean ran a hand through Cas’ hair. “Did she say anything else?”

“No, I just yelled at her. I kept screaming that I couldn’t care less and that I’d see her there too. That I’d see both of them there. I remember my heart feeling like it was going to burst out of my chest and I was just so angry at them,” He tried to take a deep breath in, but he could even hear the own shake as he breathed in and out. “I know I told them I didn’t care where I ended up, but I do. I really do.”

“Hey, Cas. Look at me.” Dean tilted Cas’ face towards him and wiped of the tears that had begun to run down his cheek. “I know you’re going to hate me for saying this, but I really don’t think there’s anything to be afraid of.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I don’t think there’s much to do after you’re in the ground. Maybe there is some sort of dream that you get stuck in after everything ends, but you aren’t going to hell, got that?”

“But, I-”

“But nothing, Cas. You’re not going anywhere,” Dean sighed, and looked down at the bed. “Do you want to sleep in here tonight?” Cas nodded. “Good, because I was starting to miss my human heater.”

Castiel ran as fast as his little legs could carry him to the church service across town. He didn’t mean to sleep in. He would never miss services purposefully. Not when he knew the punishment that was given to bad children who missed the service. Naomi was very strict, but she could be merciful at times. Cas prayed to God as loudly as he could for Naomi to be merciful on him.

As he saw the church, he began to run faster and harder, hoping to get there in time. Just a little bit closer.

The church bells began to ring loudly, shaking the ground. Cas stopped, right in front of the doors right as they were closed and locked away from the heathens of outside world. He felt tears begin to well up and spill over. For a while, he just stood there, crying his heart out. It wasn’t that he missed the chapel that caused him to react like that. It was that he knew, even if Naomi did forgive him, that he would be stuck in his room, praying for forgiveness, and not be able to come out for hours.

“Castiel, are you okay?” A woman’s voice rang out to him, he felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see who it was quickly.

“Anna?” Cas said as he tried to catch his breath. “What are you doing here? If mother sees you-”

“Naomi isn’t our mother, Cas. And I’m officially a grownup as of, two days ago. I don’t need to be stuck in a foster home anymore.”

“But you’re leaving me.”

Anna sighed, then knelt down to his level. “You’re nine, you should be playing Donkey Kong and watching things on Nickelodeon right now,” She ruffled his hair. “You would leave too. You are going to leave too. In nine more years, you’re going to want to leave, even if that does mean leaving Samandriel behind.”

He shook his head. “I’d never leave him.”

“You say that now, but you have yet to see Naomi’s bad side. Everything you’ve seen was just through people like me. You’ll get tired of having to deal with her, and you’ll leave. Just like Lucifer, just like Gabriel, and just like me.”

“You don’t understand, Anna. I’m not going to leave Samandriel. He’s my little brother.”

Anna sighed, then stood up. “C’mon, I’m staying with a friend until I get back on my feet. You’re going to stay with me for the rest of the day, alright? And then when she asks me why you’re here with me, I’ll just say that I wanted you there. It will be my fault, and you won’t get the ‘You’re Going To Hell’ talk at least for another few years.”

“What ‘You’re Going To Hell’ talk?”

“Sadly, you’ll figure it out soon enough. All of the kids she takes in do.”

 


	4. Promise me Forever

Dean woke up to the sound of the floor creaking. He opened his eyes slowly to see a figure pacing back and forth in front of his bed.

“Cas?” Dean said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes to try and get a clearer look.

“Do you remember Sam and Jessica’s wedding two years ago?” Cas asked, stopping mid stride to turn and look at Dean.

He nodded. “Yeah, not my favorite memory. Why?”

“When I was still in the hospital, they gave me morphine. Just constantly flowing, and I left too quickly, so there wasn’t enough time to get me off of it.”

“I’m still having a hard time connecting the dots, here.”

“You can’t quit an opiate cold turkey, Dean. And I just need you to distract me until it’s over.”

Dean swore underneath his breath and got out of the bed quickly so he could be closer to Castiel. “You’re withdrawing?” Cas nodded. Dean reached to turn the lights on so he could get a better look at him. Cas’ eyes had become bloodshot, and the bags underneath his eyes also developed a red tint. His skin was pale and drenched with sweat. “When did it start?” Dean asked.

“Last night.”

“Do Sam and Jess know?”

Cas nodded. “Yes, both of them know and Jessica said that she will bring clonidine as soon as she gets back.”

Dean ran a hand through Cas’ hair, trying to get the stray strands out of his face. “You know this could last a month, right?”

“Yes, I know that. That’s why I need you to distract me at least until Jessica gets back. You know how bad it was.”

Dean thought he could handle a few more hours. The day before he was sure it was just some cold that he was catching, and that he would be okay. But as he stood there, watching Sam and Jess exchange vows, he knew it was something a lot worse. His skin felt like it was boiling off his bones and he wanted nothing more than to take that monkey suite that they’d made him wear. Cas had asked him if everything was okay before the ceremony had begun, and Dean just said he wasn’t feeling his best. Yet, as soon as cocktail hour started, he had to excuse himself from the party.

He walked into the bathroom, locking himself into the wheelchair accessible stall and began to take off a few layers, trying to cool himself off before he would rejoin the party. He took the jacket off and tossed it on the floor, then began to roll up his sleeves. He looked down at the tiled floor to see that something had fallen out of his jacket pocket. A tiny clear, plastic, bag that held exactly what he was craving. He wasn’t sure if it was a pro or a con of being a dealer, but before he even had the chance to even register what he was thinking he picked up the contents and began to look around the stall. To see if there was anything else lying around that would help take the edge off.

The bathroom door creaked open. For a moment, Dean could hear the music from outside flowing in. The door closed and he could hear footsteps walking straight towards his stall.

He looked down to see a pair of perfectly shined shoes stop right in front of the stall. He flinched at the noise once there was a hard knock against the metal door.

“Occupied,” Dean said as he slid down to sit on the cold hard ground to continue looking through his pockets. “It might be a while, buddy. Try another stall.”

“Dean, it’s me.” He let go of the breath he didn’t even realize he was holding.

“Heya, Cas. Doesn’t change the fact that you should probably try another stall.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, Cas, I’m fine. I can take a shit by myself.”

The door swung open, causing a sudden cold breeze towards Dean that chilled him to the bone. Cas looked down at him with an almost disgusted look. Dean couldn’t imagine how bad he had to be looking for Cas to look at him like that. He felt snot running down his upper lip, and sweat running down his temple. His sleeves were rolled up to his elbows because of how hot he had been moments before even though he had began to shiver. Then, to rap all of it up, he had to have the goddamn bag in his hand.

“In my defence, it wasn’t my idea to quit cold turkey.”

Cas knelt down to his level and placed a hand on his forehead. “You’re freezing.”

Dean shivered at the touch. “I tried, Cas. I swear I tried.”

“You’re twenty-seven. You’re too young to throw away your life like that.”

Dean scoffed. “Throw away my life like what? There was nothing to throw away in the first place.”

“Tell me,” Cas dropped his hand from Dean’s forehead to grab the heroin. “How many liveshave you seen ruined by this?”

“None,” Dean said. “I only sell first time. I can’t see them after that.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m-”

“Scared,” Cas cut him off. “I’ve known you for a year now, so I can answer for you. You’re scared of what they become.”

Dean scoffed. “I’m not scared. I’ve seen it happen to my father, and my brother. Sammy barely managed to clean himself up afterwards. I’m not scared, I’m just following a fucking legacy. The Family Business. We deal, and we destroy ourselves because it gets to hard to live with. John’s choice was coke, Sam’s was this shitty looking street drug called demon blood, and my grandfather’s was opium. Hell, you’re a part of the family too. Your choice is ecstasy, any fucking way you can get it. Don’t think I don’t notice Cas. Don’t act like you’re better than me.” Dean tried to stand up quickly, but as he did so, his head began to spin and his vision began to blur.

“If that’s what you believe, then fine,” Cas stood up and straightened out his suit. For a moment, Dean thought Cas was actually going to just leave him there, and he was about to apologize for what he’d said until Cas grabbed a paper towel from the dispenser and ran it under cold water. “That doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to see you like this.”

Castiel walked back over to Dean and kneeled in front of him, then placed the cold cloth on Dean’s forehead. “Why do you care, Cas?”

“Dean,” Cas said, as he tilted Dean’s head up. “Look at me.”

He did as he was told, immediately getting entranced by the stormy blue eyes that he had become accustomed to.

“I can’t do this, Cas.”

“Yes you can. I know you can. Just try and hold yourself together, for a few more hours,” He took his hand from Dean’s face and reached for his clenched hand that held the bag. “You’ll get through this. I know you will. Hand it to me.”

Dean hesitated, but finally opened his hand up. Cas grabbed the bag and opened it. Dean sucked in a breath as he watched him crawl over to the toilet and dump the contents out before flushing it down.

Cas looked at Dean expectantly, he wasn’t sure how to respond. His heart was beating too hard and he was shivering still. “Baby steps, right?”

Cas smiled. “Right.”

Cas shivered as he leaned against Dean while on the bed. It had barely been an hour since they had woken up and he had only gotten a lot worse. He didn’t want to risk calling Sam or Jess again, it would just put more stress on them than was necessary. He was sure he could handle it himself, just like how Castiel had to help him.

“How does a few laps around the house sound? I heard endorphins usually help.”

“I don’t think it would be a good idea for me to move anytime soon.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because if I move, I’m probably going to throw up.”

“Understood, at least that I can help with,” Dean moved away from Cas and stood up, leaving Cas laying there. “Jess had some nausea stuff that should help. I’m going to go grab you that, and some water. How does that sound?”

“Just come back quickly,” Cas groaned in response.

Dean took that as a sign to head up stairs.

He climbed the stairs and quickly went to the married couple’s bedroom and began to look through the top drawer. When he didn’t find anything, he looked down to the bottom one, contemplating whether he should actually dig through there or not. It was his brother and sister in law, he really shouldn’t pry.

“Well, Sammy. You know everything about me already, you wouldn’t care if I found out you two weren’t as vanilla as I thought.” Dean mumbled under his breath as he knelt down and began to open the drawer. He repeated a mantra of “Please don’t be whips.” In his head as he opened it all of the way.  When Dean opened it, all he saw was clothes folded one on top of each other. He began to dig through without messing up as much as possible until he found a pill bottle at the bottom. He was confused as to why it would be hidden there in the first place. The bottle was an opaque white with a child proof twisted top. There were no markings on it that would show exactly what it was other than a “W” written in black sharpie on the top. Dean opened it hesitantly and sighed as he saw what was inside. It was filled with loose buds of marijuana. Dean looked at the bottle cap once more. It was only one letter, but he could tell whose handwriting it was. The tops of the “W” were higher than the middle, which barely even hit the midway point of the other lines coming together. That’s was Dean’s handwriting. He set the bottle to the side and continued finding more bottles exactly like that one. All buried under different pairs of clothing, and all with different assorted letters written on the caps. “O, L, W, more W.” He read the letters aloud as he pulled them out of the drawer. “M, C, lower case C,” He paused as he looked over one in particular. It looked the exact same as all the other ones did, but with a different letter on top. “H…” His mouth went dry, and his body tingled with want.  “How the hell did he get this?”

“You ever think that we are just some computer simulation? Like a real life sim game?” Sam said as he laid on his back, looking up at the night sky.

“And you sir, are officially out of the rotation,” Dean said as he plucked the blunt out of Sam’s hand, to his brother’s protests. “Calm down, Sam. I think you’re good.”

“No, but seriously,” Sam got up quickly and sat cross-legged, the loose grass still clinging to his hair. “You can’t really know that. Like, in the Matrix. Neo figured out that none of what he knew really existed, because it was a computer simulation. Maybe deja vu could be like a glitch. You really could be reliving another day, and you’re the only one who noticed. We could all just be programs, and that,” he pointed to the sky. “that could just be the result of some programmer who I bet spends most of his time just staring at the world he created, but not really doing anything with it.”

“Sam,” Jess cut in as Dean handed her the half burnt out blunt. “That is the reason why we’re skipping over you.”

“But he does have a point,” Cas said as he leaned against Dean, who, in turn, wrapped his arm around Cas’ shoulder. “We are taught to believe that all of this is real. But what if it isn’t?”

“Then you’re still siding with the whole divine creation thing that I thought you hated, Cas.”  
“The idea of it, I believe. It was the way Naomi and everybody else in my life told me how to actually get out of this facade that is the earth,” he shrugged and took the weed from Jess then took a long drag from it. “Heaven or hell. Only heaven or hell. What happens if I don’t want either? Or what happens when I’m not good enough for heaven, but not bad enough for hell?”

All of them were quiet for a moment, looking either up towards the sky or forward to the crackling fire that they all sat around.

“Maybe you’ve all had enough,” Dean took hold of the blunt once more and looked over it. “You all are a lot lighter than I first thought.”

“It might be because you didn’t dilute it this time,” Sam said as he ran a hand through his hair. “Usually you do something with it before you give it to us.”

“Well, it was a wedding present,” Dean said. “And this is the last time you’re getting anything from me that is this pure by the way. This shit’s expensive. Besides, I wouldn’t want you guys to get hooked on something.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot,” Sam scoffed, “You’re like one of those suburban moms that think Marijuana is a gateway drug to everything and that vaccines cause autism. What the hell happened to you, Dean?”

“He’s not that bad,” Cas said, sitting up more so he would no longer be leaning against Dean. “It’s only been two weeks since your wedding after all.”

Sam paused. “Oh my God, I forgot… Dean, you know I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine, Sammy,” Dean said as he looked back to the blunt before putting it between his lips and inhaling deeply. He let the breath out slowly. “Hell, this is the best I’ve felt in a while. Nothing wrong with taking the edge off a little, just don’t over-do it.”

It went around the four of them one more time. Sam and Jess were talking amongst themselves while Cas and Dean just watched them. “Should we tell them this is the last time we’re going to see them?” Cas asked quietly, meeting Dean’s eyes.

“Let’s not push it yet.”

“But they’re going to figure it out soon enough.”

“They’ll know that we left, they won’t know that they won’t see us again,” Dean sighed. “It’s business, Cas. Sam knows that full well.”

“But Jessica doesn’t.”

“Yeah, well she knows enough.”

Cas laughed breathily as he let his head fall back. “We shouldn’t have tried to settle. Especially not here. We got too attached.”

Dean found himself just staring at Cas’ throat, his Adam’s apple pronounced and, if one was to look hard, small light bruises were scattered on his collar bone. “You’re right, why did we even try? It was a paradise we both know we couldn’t reach.”

“But pretending was nice. We almost went domestic when we were with them. Hell, I kind of want what they have.”

“Yeah, but we still haven’t finished everything up yet.”

Cas looked over to Dean once more. “After this, do you think I might not see you again as well?”

“What makes you think that?” Dean asked. “Like I said, partners in crime.”

He shook his head. “We’re going back to Kansas, even if it’s only for a little while and then we plan to meet back up. I’m only going so I can see my daughter, and you still want to find your father.”

“I think I’m missing your point.”

“What happens if I don’t want to come back? What happens if you don’t want to come back?”

Dean laughed. “Cas, listen to yourself. Would you actually leave?”

“Sadly, no,” He scoffed. “You’re probably the worst addiction I’ve ever had in my life. It’s a lot harder to get over you than expected.

“And I wouldn’t leave you, not after what we’ve been through.” Dean moved so he would be facing Cas fully. “So, this is my promise. I will never leave you, ever. I hate to break it Cas, but you’re stuck with me until we’re six feet under.”

“Does that sound like wedding vows to you, or is it just me?” Cas asked, a smile on his face.

“If you want to make it official,” Dean smiled back, and took the silver ring that once belonged to his father off of his hand and put it onto Castiel’s ring finger. “Until death do we part, right?”

“I- I don’t have anything to give you.” Castiel said, his eyes locked onto Dean’s.

“Just answer the question, Cas.”

“Then yes, until death do we part.”

Dean pulled Cas into a deep, passionate kiss. Castiel cupped his face while Dean found his hands on the back of Cas’ head. It wasn’t anywhere close to their first kiss. The others were full of anger or just occurred because the two of them just missed being held. But this one was full of promise.

When they broke apart, they heard Jess and Sam clapping. She had said something about how she knew it would happen eventually.

“Dean, just one more thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Please tell me this is a promise you intend to keep.”

Dean hesitated, looking away from Cas. “Honestly, I’m scared I won’t end up breaking it.”

“Why?”

“We shouldn’t trust each other this much. They’ll figure it out and…” Dean sighed and looked back to Cas. “Forget it. I swear I won’t break this promise. No matter what.”

 


	5. Million Dollar Question

Dean watched Cas very carefully the next few days. Jess had brought the medicine, and it was helping, but only in the slightest. It would always wear off in the middle of the night and Cas would have a hard time breathing. Then there was the added stress of the bullet wound that was still healing which made the aches and pains worse.

When Dean wasn’t with Cas, comforting him, he kept his eyes on Sam. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust his brother, he just was trying to place why anything like what he’d found the other day would be in their house. He grabbed a sheet of paper and a pen from Sam’s study and began to write on it, trying to remember what kind of inventory he had over a year ago.

January ‘13 to early July ‘14 - White bottles, distinguished by letter on top

Late July ‘14 to June ‘15 - Dark translucent, distinguished by cap color

Dean looked over the paper. Anytime beyond that was when he originally got caught. Jail cell to Sam’s house, then another jail cell, not knowing how his business was going. He ran a hand through his hair.

“Maybe Sam just got the access before we left…”

“Access of what?”

Dean turned around quickly to see Castiel leaning against the door frame. He had Dean’s black comforter wrapped around him, and his hair was spiked in every direction.

Dean found himself smiling up at him from his seat in Sam’s office chair.

“It’s really hard to take you seriously like that. Did you just wake up?”

Cas nodded. “A few minutes ago, yes.”

“Do you need anything? Pain meds?”

Cas unwrapped himself from the comforter and sat it to the side. Underneath the blanket he had one of Dean’s black t-shirts that was a little too loose and a pair of gray boxers. He sat down on the arm of the chair and looked over the paper.

“No, I’ll be fine. But you didn’t answer my question. Access of what?”

“When we left Sam and Jess to get back to work. We had a little bit extra, I was thinking that they maybe took that.”

“We didn’t have any extra then,” Cas said looking away from the paper to Dean. “We couldn’t have. Suppliers wouldn’t give us extra, it’s too much money to waste and too much of a risk for all of us.”

Dean sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. I just don’t want to put that much blame on Sam…”

“Maybe he got it out of your car.”

“No, cops have Baby and everything that was inside her. Besides, even if he did get to her in time, from what I saw he had more than what we had when we got caught.”

“You got caught,” Cas corrected. “I got shot.”

“Yeah, that put you out of commission for a while.” Dean stood up abruptly and crumpled the paper before throwing it away. “I still can’t figure out how he got a hold of it.”

“Before we left, we had the white bottles. And a little bit afterwards, we changed them from white to brown, correct?” Dean nodded. “And you only found the white bottles.”

“I haven’t bothered looking for anymore.”

Cas stood up from the arm. “Well, we have time to spare before Sam and Jessica get home.”

Dean raised an eyebrow. “I can’t tell if you’re suggesting sex or a scavenger hunt.”

“If you’re fast enough, maybe both.” He patted Dean on the shoulder and walked towards the door. “Are you coming?”

Dean kept glancing out the window as Castiel spoke to one of their clients. Or was it one of their dealers? At that point, Dean really couldn’t tell. He was paranoid and his stress levels were through the roof. Too many things were happening at once for him to handle. They hadn’t found John yet, Cas’ meeting with his wife was approaching quickly, and to top it all off, they were running low. How the hell could they be running low?

“You still there?” Sam’s voice said over the phone, bringing Dean back to their conversation.

“Yeah, still here. What were you saying again?”

“We were talking about how you just disappeared off of the face of the earth.”

“Cas and I warned you,” Dean countered. “We told you we were leaving. Back to the family business and all.”

“But I’m family too. I should be able to at least know where you are, right? It’s been a month, Dean.”

The door opened and Dean looked back to see Castiel, who shrugged and leaned against the door.

“I’m gonna have to call you back later, Sammy,” Dean hung up the phone without waiting for a response from his brother and walked over to Cas. “Who were you talking to?”

“A dealer, he told me he sold out. We have nothing to give him.”

“Are you serious?” Cas nodded. “How?”

“We’ve been selling more than usual. Our suppliers are beginning to hate us,” Cas sighed and went to sit down on the bed they had been sharing. “Maybe right now isn’t a good time for me to go.”

“Don’t say that, Cas. You’ve been saving this up for a while,” Dean sat down next to him. “Hell, you probably have more than enough to give them. Claire will be okay, Amelia will be okay, and we don’t need to be there longer than a night. Then we can get back to work.”

“If back to work means running an international drug cartel out of a motel, then I’m not sure if I want to get back to it.”

Dean hummed, as he looked down to the carpet. “It’s temporary, Cas. You know that.”

“But-”

“No buts.” He cut Cas off. “Now, back to the biggest problem. Where the hell is everything going?”

Cas looked inside and under everything even though he was certain that Dean must have been paranoid. Jess and Sam wouldn’t steal anything that belonged to them, and if they did, he doubted it would be the drugs that they had sold years ago. If anything, it was there because Dean had left it with them before they bolted. Or maybe it was just a part of their wedding gift. Even still, just because he thought Dean might be going a little crazy, he still helped him look. Under the bed, in the medicine cabinets, anywhere that he could reach.

He was just about to give up on Dean’s wild goose chase when he heard Dean call for him from the kitchen. “Cas!”

He hurried to where Dean was, to see him picking up bottles that had spilled out onto the floor and setting them onto the counter space.

“What are you-”

“I told you,” Dean said as he picked up a dark brown, translucent bottle with a yellow cap. “This is new, and I mean really new. And it’s all heavy shit too.”

“I don’t think I understand.”

“It’s ours, Cas,” Dean insisted taking a step closer. “All of this is ours. Remember when we ran out a few months back. It was them.”

“You’re jumping to conclusions,” Cas insisted. “We don’t know it’s them. They could have just been…” He looked at the assorted pill bottles. How did they get all of that? And why?

“What? Hoarding ‘over the counters’ and peeling off the labels just to scare the hell out of me?”

“You’re over reacting.”

“Just try and connect the dots on this, Cas!” Dean said, as he raised his voice. “C’mon, I know what I’m doing. Just trust me and follow me on this one, okay?”

Cas looked back to the pill bottles. He knew there wasn’t anything else he could really do, so he agreed reluctantly.

“Of course.”

When Sam returned, Cas stood back, and watched the brother’s talk. He knew what they were talking about involved him fully, but anything Dean did still felt separate from him. As he watched, he felt like he was watching a movie. Two rival brothers, colliding head on over their father’s company. Who was Cas in all of this? In this sense, the sidekick, maybe even Dean’s lover. No more, no less. He had few lines and was only there when the plot needed him. Completely unnecessary. He could sit the entire quarrel out, he could go back downstairs, sleep off the headache that was growing.

“Dean, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Sam insisted. Cas sighed, detecting the lie easily. He glanced over to Jess who was in the kitchen, putting the bottles away, and walked over to help her.

“Do you need help?” Cas asked as he knelt down next to her.

She looked up at him and gave him a sad smile. “No, it’s alright.”

“Are you sure?” Jess nodded before going back to pick everything up. “What’s wrong?”

“Sam and I shouldn’t have gotten this deep into it.”

“This deep into what?” Cas pressed.

“What the hell did you do, Sam?” Dean yelled from the living room.

“After you two left, we needed the extra income,” She picked up the last of the bottles, but didn’t bother standing up. “And then we were convinced to go back into your business.”

“Jess-” Cas began, but she cut him off.

“It wasn’t our idea, we didn’t mean to get this deep into it. We didn’t mean for anybody to get hurt that badly.”

Cas’ felt his heart stop. “It was you two?”

“It got out of hand, Castiel.”

“You bought out everything we had and sent somebody after us? It was you?”

Jess looked down. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that.”

The shock faded away from Cas. He looked back at Dean and Sam who were still arguing with each other. Both of them far too stubborn to even realize what really happened.

“Why would you do that?” he asked turning back to Jess. “Do Sam and you even know what you started?”

Amelia seemed excited to see them, but it was probably because of the five hundred thousand dollars Castiel had handed her in cash. The rest of the night progressed nicely. Amelia was excited that they could finally move somewhere really nice and Claire was happy to see her father again. Dean was the one to keep the conversation up. Making up some huge story about the same major corporation that they had first lied about that Cas had been working for, for over two years. But, that conversation didn’t intrigue him at all. He was far more interested with talking to his now seventeen year old daughter.

“How has your senior year been going?”

“Good so far,” She said with a small smile. Cas felt horrible for missing two years of his daughter’s life. Yet, she seemed to be faring just fine. She had grown into a beautiful young woman with light blonde hair and her father’s blue eyes. “I miss having you around though.”

“I miss seeing you every day as well,” Cas smiled. “But, work takes me a lot of places. I’m just happy I got to make a stop to see you two.”

Claire smiled, but as soon as it appeared, it began to falter. She glanced over out the window and sighed.

“Some really weird stuff has been happening here for a while.”

Cas frowned. “How long is a while?”

“Like a few weeks.” She looked back to him. “People have been coming and asking for you and your boss.”

“What have you been saying?”

“Nothing really, just that you weren’t in town.”

“Is that really it?” Dean asked from his spot at the dining table, having overheard the conversation.

Claire nodded. “Yeah, but I don’t think they’re here to-”

There was a loud knock at the door, interrupting Claire and causing all of them to look towards the door.

“Castiel,” Dean said. His full name sounding weird coming out of Dean’s mouth. “I think we should be heading out now. Very busy after all.”

Cas hesitated, looking from the door back to Dean. When he didn’t respond, Dean began to speak again. “Novak, can we speak in private?” he said, standing up and walking over to one of the farther rooms.

He stood up hesitantly from the couch and walked over to meet Dean. The room was dark and he closed the door behind him. The only way he could even see Dean was because of the lights from outside. “We can’t leave.”

“Yes we can, we’re about to do it. We had a deal, Cas.”

“I’m not leaving my daughter here. It’s too dangerous. How did they find my family?”

“I told you it was dangerous, Cas.”

Cas shook his head and looked down. “You didn’t tell me this would happen.”

“I can’t predict anything, Cas. But I swear it will be okay,” Dean insisted. There was a large cracking noise from outside the door, Claire and Amelia could be heard screaming. “Cas do you trust me?”

He looked back to the door, not sure how to answer.

“Cas?”

“Yes,” he blurted out. “Of course I trust you.” Tears began to sting his eyes.

“Than you know we need to leave now. To save our asses.”

“I can’t-”

“Chose,” Dean said, his voice suddenly become far more calm and steady in the most terrifying way. He remembered Dean had told him that John would always speak to him in a heavy commanding voice that would make you do anything for whoever was using. “Come with me, or stay with them and get us all killed. That’s the million dollar question.”

“Go,” Cas said, his voice matching the same amount of intensity as Dean’s did. “I’ll follow you.”

“Promise?”

“Sadly, yes.”

Dean nodded and opened the window, a gust of air blew in, causing Cas’ eyes to water more. He looked around outside before he spotted what he was looking for.

“Fire escape. Platform is about a seven foot drop and is pretty small. No room to mess up. Then the staircase goes to the ground floor,” He looked over to Cas. “Try not to break your legs on the way down.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about spamming you guys with this. Instead of posting this a long a few hours, I have to do them all at once.


	6. Please don't say you love me

Cas kept his eyes trained on Dean as if he was the most important and delicate thing in the world. To Castiel, he was. God, he was.

They had been driving for hours, and they had made it through a state line already, but they knew it wasn’t far enough.

“We could buy plane tickets,” Cas suggested, not taking his eyes off of Dean. “Just fly off and run away together like the original plan.”

“With what money?” Dean scoffed. “We used to be rolling in it. We could literally fuck on a bed full of money.”

“A few pool games, maybe I pick up my old work,” Castiel shrugged. “We’d be able to leave by morning.”

“No way in hell.” Dean deadpanned, his voice carrying a strict tone to it.

“It would be one hundred percent voluntary, Dean. It’s my choice.”

“Your point?”

“I’m doing this to keep us safe.”

“And I’m saying no to keep you safe. You have no idea what kind of creeps are out there. They could do anything to you.”

“I’ll be fine, Dean,” Cas sighed and turned to look out the window. He took a deep breath before speaking again. “It’ll only last a minute at the most. If men are coming to some sex club in the first place, then they probably have just been with their hand for the past few months. I’ll be back before you even notice I left.”

Cas could feel Dean’s eyes on the back of his head, but Dean didn’t say anything. Just stared at him before he turned back around to look at the road.

They had been driving along the dusty road for miles, but Cas was sure it wouldn’t be ending anytime soon. There was nothing to pass the time with other than staring out the window and then his own thoughts playing in his head. While running, they had spent a few days at a time on the road. Sleeping in the backseat, eating at greasy - yet still somehow homey - diners. It wasn’t the life of luxury that Dean had told him he would get when he signed up for the wild ride of the Family Business. Still, Castiel was much happier with this, than the deluxe apartment that they had stayed in for a little over a month, or even the high rise hotel they had stayed in while in New York. He felt closer to Dean, happier. Even though Dean didn’t feel the same way.

It was a slow build. No, slow build was an understatement. It was almost impossible to get off in the backseat of a car that obviously wasn’t meant to hold two six foot men fucking hard enough to jerk the car around to the point both of them could hear the axles beginning to creak underneath the force. One of the seat belts was pushing hard into Cas’ side and the leather was beginning to chafe both of them. The chill of the window that he had his foot pushed up against wasn’t making things easier either, causing him to shiver from both the pleasure and the cold that was running up his body. Dean had kept their bodies pressed close together, but he would still try and sit up a little more every few minutes and would result in bumping his head on the roof. No, the car was definitely not made for something like that. Just because it was near impossible, didn’t mean they didn’t manage to finish each other off.

Castiel’s arms raked up and down Dean’s back, leaving hot red trails. Dean squeezed Cas’ shoulders firmly and practically yanked the man under him to meet every one of his thrusts. The change of position caused Dean to hit Cas’ sweet spot over and over again until he was screaming in pleasure.

Dean’s movements became more and more erratic.

“ ‘m so close, Angel. So fucking close,” He growled into Cas’ ear.

Cas couldn’t get himself to form words, the only response he gave was a breathy moan as he dug his nails deeper into Dean’s back. His head was reeling, and his heart felt like it had gone up to his throat. Every thrust had Cas seeing stars until he wasn’t entirely sure if it was just in his mind or if he was truly looking up at the clear night sky above them. Dean began to tense up above him, Cas arched his back off the leather seats as he felt his eyes roll back to his head. Hot fluid shot between their bodies, his cock twitched as he clenched around Dean.

Just that pressure pushed Dean over the edge. He hit his climax with full force and emptied himself in pulses into Castiel before collapsing.

Their rest only lasted mere moments before Dean pulled out and tried to sit back up. Cas only moved his legs enough for Dean not to sit on them, but stayed lying down.

The only noises that filled their silence was both of their heavy breathing and the gentle sound of the classic rock channel playing from the radio.

Cas wasn’t entirely sure what to say. He knew that the sex was just a distraction. Just a way to get Dean’s mind off all the pent up rage and stress that had been building up over the weeks they’ve been running. He looked at Dean, only really seeing his silhouette. Dean reached to his front seat and grabbed the jeans he’d been wearing and looked through the pocket before pulling out a sleek black match and a small box. It was yellow and green, decorated with smoke letters spelling out the brand name that Cas couldn’t quite make out. Dean took some paper out of the box before stuffing it back in his pants pocket and tossing it back into the front driver’s seat.

He grabbed a dark pill bottle with a light green cap from the pocket at the back of the passenger seat.

Cas sighed and looked through the window past Dean’s head. Truly, he would prefer the car smell like sex rather than weed, but he knew Dean needed it. They both needed it. The past few weeks had been rough on both of them.

Dean held the wrapped blunt in his mouth as he began to put everything else away. He tossed Cas’ boxers towards him and grabbed his own before sliding it on.

“You okay?” Dean said past the cigarette in his teeth as he looked at Cas.

He nodded. “What about you.”

Dean shrugged. “This is the best I’ve felt in a while,” He lit the blunt, but didn’t breathe in. “But, I’ve been pretty shitty the past few days, there’s not much to compare it to.” He took the blunt from between his teeth and handed it to Cas.

“Oh,” Cas hummed, looking at it. “I thought you were going to-”

“I was at first,” he shrugged. “Changed my mind a little too late.”

Cas accepted the cigarette and took a long drag from it. As he exhaled the smoke, he looked at Dean. The sight was something he would just never be able to get used to. Dean had lost more weight and his ribs could be seen through his chest anytime he took a deep breath. His hair was growing longer, not entirely shaggy yet, but definitely too long to do his usual style. When they’d first met, Cas did admit to stealing a few lingering glances, though he was sure they were mutual. He did notice those things even if people don’t really see it. But, as he looked at Dean, knowing that Dean wasn’t looking back at him, the only word he could think to use was infatuation. It couldn’t last, he was obsessing. He was obsessed with the crazy man who showed him the world and promised everything to him. He wanted it to last forever. Yet, no matter how many silver rings, no matter how many nights they spent together in cramped spaces and still feeling like they were hundreds of miles apart because they weren’t close enough, he knew it would end soon.

“I love you.” Cas said, barely in a whisper. His voice rasped more than it usually sounded, he was scared of how Dean would react.

Dean looked over him for a moment. It was hard for Cas to detect the emotion on his face in the dark. “I really hope that is just one of those post orgasm things that you say because if it’s not-”

“Why don’t you want me to mean it?” Cas asked, cutting him off.

Dean took a deep breath, and spoke with a wavering voice. “Cas, you can say whatever you want, and I mean whatever. But please don’t say that you love me.”

Dean didn’t like waiting. The sound of the clock ticking signalled every single second that passed. Cas was supposed to be back at their shitty, one night motel over an hour ago. The clock ticked again and Dean stood up from the lumpy bed to grab his phone. He had tried to convince himself not to wait for Cas, and that if he wasn’t back on time, he would leave without him. Start his life over again away from Sam, John, the business, and Cas. He could get all of it to stop easily, toting no literal or metaphorical baggage with him as he makes a run for it. It would be so much easier, but he can’t leave Cas. He promised that he would never do that, and even if he didn’t make the promise, he wouldn’t be able to bring himself to leave Cas.

The phone rang once. Twice. Three times, before Dean hung up and tossed his phone to the side, hitting the wall. He ran his fingers through his hair and down the back of his neck. Something was wrong. Something had to be wrong.

He flopped down onto the bed and looked up to the ceiling. It was way too late for any sane person to be awake. But that brought up question, was he sane? If he was honest with himself, he didn’t think he was. Then again, sanity is just a construct that many people are forced to believe that they must be or they are considered crazy and are sent somewhere to fix it.

Dean laughed to himself quietly.

“Fuck, Angel really is rubbing off on me.”

Castiel and him would get into debates like that often when they both had a little too much. Sure, Dean didn’t know what the hell Cas was talking about half the time, but he just looked so passionate. He’d play along as he watched Cas go on and on about what Dean felt were the simplest things. The way Cas would explain things when they had first met had Dean in awe anytime he was around him. He had joked multiple times that people with pretty faces like Cas’ were usually airheads. To which Cas would respond with some philosophical quote that Dean would forget about ten minutes later. Everything about Cas was brilliant and ethereal. Even the way he held himself when making a deal was otherworldly. Dean would lose himself in Cas’ eyes every time he had the chance. But as time went on, that beautiful glow began to fade. He tried to bring it back, but Cas would turn it down and continue working. Dean had broken him.

There was a large thud against the door. Dean stood up quickly, ignoring the head rush that the motion caused, and got to the door. He looked through peephole to see Cas writhing against the door. He was wearing what they had left in, a pair of jeans and a white, short sleeved button up, but they looked dirtier, his hair messier.

He opened the door only to have Cas fall into the room to be caught by Dean. His eyes were glazed and he couldn’t hold himself up.

“Cas, can you hear me?” Dean said worriedly. He responded with a small nod. “What the hell did they do to you?”

“Noth’n,” Cas slurred against Dean’s chest. “It was my idea.”

“The sex, or whatever the fuck you’re on?”

“Both” Dean led Cas to the bed, who flopped down once Dean let go of him. “It helped.”

“What helped?”

“Pills,” Cas said as he raised his hand. He pressed his pointer finger and thumb together. “Tiny, blue, pills. I used to like it. Now I don’t”

Ecstacy.

“Who did this to you?” He shook his head and rolled over onto his front. “Cas.”

“Don’t know.”

“What did they look like?”

“Don’t remember.”

“Cas-”

“Stop,” he said, making an attempt to sit up, before falling back down onto his back. “Just forget it.”

“How can I forget it?” Dean yelled. Cas held a finger to his lips and winced at the loud noise. “They raped you, Cas.”

“No,” He sat up again, this time keeping his balance and locking eyes with Dean. “I wanted the sex. I started it. Don’t look for them, please. They know about you.”

Dean hesitated, as he looked down at Cas. “How much do they know?”

“Everything,” Cas sucked in a deep, shaky breath as he tried to steady his voice. “They want to hurt you. And they said they wouldn’t do anything if I...”

“Oh God, Cas,” Dean sat down next to him and wrapped Castiel in his arms. He lay his head against Dean’s shoulder once more, this time, tears spilling out.

“I didn’t want anything to happen to you,” Cas cried into Dean’s shirt.

That was exactly what Dean was afraid of. People using Cas to get to him. But Cas was being too diligent, too loyal, to let anything happen to Dean, ending in letting himself get hurt instead. Castiel was like an angel and Dean was the one who pulled him down to his level in hell, yet, he didn’t try to fly back up.

Cas got quiet, his breaths became deeper and he hummed as he breathed out. Dean strained his neck awkwardly to look at him. H’d just fallen asleep and looked so much more at peace, despite all that happened.

“You can’t hear me, and I know I should have said this a while ago, but,” Dean kissed the top of his partner’s messy hair, “I love you too.”

 


	7. Safe and Sound

The darkness the night offered and the illumination of streetlamps was never as comforting to Castiel as it was to Dean. He had said that he felt almost at home at home in a big city in the dark of night. He might as well have been the king. Cas stayed close to Dean. He didn’t have the same memories of the night. He worked early in his life and kept to the same job, most of his work being in the dead of night. No matter how old he was.

They originally came to the city for a deal that was described as one they didn’t want to miss. The client said that he planned on buying a lot, but the real reason why they decided to go there themselves was because he mentioned that he knew Dean’s father. Castiel warned him that he could be lying, but Dean was too hopeful to convince otherwise.

“You didn’t need to come, Cas.” Dean said suddenly, breaking silence between them.

Cas stopped mid pace and turned toward him. “Yes I did. We’re business partners.”

“That doesn’t mean you need to follow me everywhere.”

“What if something were to happen to you?” Cas asked. “I don’t know what I would do with myself then.”

“You’d be better off without me around. Trust me,” Dean insisted. “You should head back to the motel. I know you hate it out here.”

Cas knit his eyebrows together in confusion. “I’m not leaving you. Why would I be better off without you? And why is it that as soon as we have a lead on your father, you want me to leave?”

“Cas-”

“No, Dean. I’m serious. As soon as you talked to this man who we know nothing about. You’ve been distant. I want to help.”

“I don’t want you here, Cas,” Dean said, staring his partner, his lover, down. “I don’t need your help anymore.” He turned around and continued down the path.

Cas didn’t follow him, but instead shouted. “When you first came to me, I was lost. Both of us were.”

“Your point?” Dean questioned, turning around

“You need me, and I need you. I’m not leaving you. We made a promise.”

“We were high,” Dean said taking a step closer to Castiel. “We were high, and we were naive, and I regretted everything I said right after I said it.”

“Well, I meant every word I said,” Cas shook his head, and looked down. “Every goddamn word.”

“Go, Cas,” Dean insisted. “Our road has ran its course. It’s over.”

Before he could respond, he heard a click, coming from the right. He looked over and up to see a figure. He was too far away to make out, other than his scrawny frame and a shotgun he had directed at-

He was aiming for Dean. He was too focused on Dean to even know that he had been spotted.

Castiel had to think fast, and only one option came to his mind.

“You’re right,” Castiel’s voice shook as he took a few tentative steps forward. Wondering why the hell he loved Dean enough to follow through with what he was thinking. “It is over,”

He stopped his stride right in front of Dean, tears began to form in his eyes “Start running, and don’t look back.”

He shoved him hard, causing Dean to stumble back, but he followed Cas’ command. Cas only saw Dean go a few steps before there was a loud cracking noise and his entire chest erupted in pain. His world went dark, the last thing he felt was hitting the cold and dirty concrete. The last thing he heard was Dean screaming his name, but no other gun shots.

Dean couldn’t help but watch Cas’ movements, even if he was just going about with the most usual routine ever. He’d just walked out of the bathroom, rubbing his hair dry with one of the motel’s towels and had the only other clean towel wrapped around his waist. It was the first time that he’d truly seen the wounds since the incident. The entrance wound had healed well enough for it to go almost unnoticed. If one wasn’t to look hard at his chest, than they would think it was just some basic discoloration. His back was another story. The scar took up his whole shoulder. It would have just been an eyesore to most people, especially on someone as gorgeous as Castiel, but to Dean it was just a reminder. A reminder of how the most angelic and otherworldly person that Dean would do anything for, almost died because of him being so ignorant.

He hated having to see it.

“Why’d you do it?”

“What did I do?” he asked as he picked up his pants and shirt off of the bed and began to change.

“Run in front of me.”

Castiel froze as he was buckling his pants, not looking up to meet Dean in the eye. “I don’t know.”

“Tell me the truth, Cas.”

“That is the truth,” he sighed, then continued fastening his pants and grabbing his shirt. “In my defense, my emotions got the best of me. I couldn’t think very clearly and that was the only way I could think of saving you.”

“You don’t need to save me, Cas,” Dean stated. “There’s no use. I’m going down one way or another.”

“Well then, I apologize for wanting you to have a fulfilled life and for you to survive past thirty.”

“If you did actually end up…” Dean took a breath, stopping himself from saying what almost happened. “If it had ended up worse than what it did, I probably wouldn’t have survived past thirty anyway.”

“Can you please stop with all of this self-destruction bullshit,” Cas burst out, throwing the towels onto the ground and turning his full attention to Dean. “Can’t you even see that I have been trying to keep you safe? And you just keep repeating this cycle of getting better, and then regressing years back. Don’t think I haven’t noticed what you’ve been doing. You’re better than this.”

“No, Cas. I’m really not.”

“Dean Winchester,” Cas walked towards him and kneeled in front of the bed that Dean was sitting on to meet his downward gaze. “I know you won’t believe this no matter how many times I tell you. But you are worth saving. You are worth so much more than what you’ve been told. You don’t deserve what you’ve done to yourself.”

Dean shook his head. “You say that, but what about all the shit I put you through? I had you lie to your wife for years about what you were doing. You can’t see your daughter anymore because of me. You’ve almost died because of me multiple times. And yet, you still keep running back for more. Don’t act like you’re some savior when you can’t even save yourself from the one who has put you through all of this.”

“All of those things were my choice to go through. I would have ended up doing all of that without you anyway.”

“Cas, I’m quoting you here. Can you please stop with all that self-destruction bullshit?” Cas took a deep breath and looked down. “I’m being serious. I know I have problems for miles. Just, don’t drop yours to deal with mine. We both need help, okay?”

Before Castiel had the chance to answer, there was a knock on the door, pulling both of them out of their conversation. They stood up and looked towards the door.

“Cas, where’s the gun?”

“Under the mattress.”

“Maybe you should camp out for this one. Nobody knows we’re here.”

“I’m not leaving you.”

“I had the feeling you were gonna say that.” Dean walked over to the mattress and lifted it up, grabbed the gun, and put it into his back pocket and using his shirt to conceal it. He opened the door slowly to see a short man in a suit that was all black.

“Hello Boys,” the mysterious man said as he looked at them.

Dean didn’t recognize the man, but he was sure that whoever he was, knew Cas. The way his partner held himself stiffened, his gaze locked with the other.

Dean looked between the two before speaking again. “Who are you and what are you doing here?”

The man in the dark coat put his hands up in defense. “No need to worry, Dean. I’m a friend of your dad’s. And very close to that moose of a brother, by the way.”

He looked the man up and down, but let him into the motel anyway. He nor Cas’ eyes left the mysterious man. “How do you know them?”

“Co-Workers,” the man said, a smile on his face as he took out a business card from his pocket. “Crowley MacLeod.”

Dean took the card from the man’s - Cowley’s - hand. The paper was smooth and black with dark red smoke designs as the background. Light gray letters in the foreground that read ‘SEDAH’

“Sedah?” Dean questioned out loud. “Is that supposed to mean anything?”

“Yes, my good man,” Crowley plucked the business card from Dean’s hand and tucked it back into a pocket. “That is the new and improved, oh, what did you call it? Family Business, I think?”

“What are you talking about?” Cas said, finally stepping forward.

“Very slow, you two are,” Crowley said, sighing. “I bought it. All of it. Including everything that you two were toting around and using to get rich. I was just going to let it slide at first, but then I realized I was losing hundreds of thousands of dollars. In this economy, who the hell would waste the opportunity to give yourself a little boost?”

“What about John?”

“He was the one who agreed to it. It was in his business after all. You and that brother of yours just managed to tag on.” He took a few steps closer to Dean. “I’m just here to get the rest of my inventory.”

“We don’t have anything,” Dean said, standing up taller so he could tower over Crowley.

“Don’t be too hopeful, squirrel. Sure, your brother and his betrothed did have most of it, but they were the ones who started getting everything for me in the first place. When they didn’t want to give it up, I dealt with them accordingly.”

“Where are they?”

“Like I said, dealt with. Now, to more important matters.” Crowley stepped into Castiel’s space and looked him straight in the eye. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you around. What was it? 03’ or 04?”

“2003,” Cas answered softly, looking down to avoid Crowley’s eyes.

“Just a kid this one was. Ran away from his foster home a few years before we ran into each other. Naomi is a bloody awful woman, I don’t know why you didn’t leave her sooner.”

Cas looked like he was on the verge of just running for it. His fists were balled up, and his knuckles were white.

“I didn’t run. They knew I left. They just didn’t know where I was going.”

“Basically, running away,” Crowley looked down to Cas’ left hand and smiled. “There’s the beauty I was looking for.”

Cas snatched his hand away quickly. “Don’t touch me.”

“Not touching you, Darling. I know how jittery you get. I’ve seen what some of my boys would do to you.” He took hold of Castiel’s hand, more gently this time. “I just want the ring.”

“Let him keep it, if you want to take our valuable shit, than you can do it,” Dean said, stepping in. “Just leave the ring.”

“That kind of talk makes me think you know exactly what’s in this silver band, don’t you.”

“I know that I’m not letting you get the thing.”

Crowley sighed and let go of Cas’ hand. “Here’s the deal, because I’m too much of a gentleman to take something that obviously means so much by force. I’ll tell you where Sam, Jessica, John and Claire are. If you give me the ring, of course. And if you don’t, well,” he shrugged “your family just got a whole lot smaller.”

“Why do you have my daughter?” Cas asked, his voice starting to reach that of hysteria. “How long have you had her?”

“She wasn’t really in my custody until recently, but I’ve had people on her since around the time you abandoned her to run away with the mad man with a needle in his arm.” The business man glanced from Dean, then back to Cas. “Horrible idea by the way. You would have been completely out of this by now. And yet, here we are.”

Castiel didn’t hesitate with pulling the ring off of his finger. A band of lighter skin was left where the ring once was. “Take it. Where are they?”

“Cas,” Dean said, turning towards him. “You have no idea what you’re doing.”

“I’m saving our family.”

“You have no idea what you’re giving up.”

“Coordinates. It’s on the inside of the band,” Cas answered simply as he walked closer to Crowley and dropped the ring into the business man’s hand. “Now, tell me where they are.”

Dean paced the floor of the ER’s waiting room. The last time he’d seen Cas was when he was being rolled away on a stretcher. Doctors surrounding him shouting about the status of his vitals and how fast he was bleeding out. That was two hours ago.

He couldn’t get himself to calm down. So he continued to walk, back and forth. Dean’s pacing helped nothing but his own anxiety. A nurse came up to him, handed him a bottle of water, and told him to sit down because he was blocking an exit. He did as he was told, his leg bouncing up and down.

Too many thoughts were flying through his head. He couldn’t risk losing Cas. Not yet. Why the hell was he stupid enough to even think he didn’t need him? And why was Cas stupid enough to jump in front of a bullet like that? Whoever it was had been aiming for Dean, something that he could live with. Sam would keep going on with his life, he’d be content without Dean. His dad probably wouldn’t even notice the absence because John had been gone forever anyway. Dean ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t sit still, he needed to do something. Anything.

The sounds of the doors being swung open snapped Dean out of his thoughts. He was expecting to see more EMTs rushing through, pulling along another stretcher towards the Emergency Room. Instead, it was police officers, there guns all pulled. The patrons of the waiting room stared up at them as they rushed through, shouting that they were looking for Dean Winchester.

One of the cops grabbed Dean by the wrist tightly and threw him onto the ground before pressing a knee into his back. He yelled that he wasn’t resisting, and that he just needed a few more hours to make sure Cas was okay, but nobody could hear him over the commotion of the waiting room. His arms were pulled back roughly and he felt a cold metal being locked around his wrists.

“I’m not resisting!” Dean shouted again. The knee on his back lifted slowly, but he could still feel all of the guns pointed at him. “Just give me a second.”

“Do you know what we’re doing this for, boy?”

“Not really, but I’m sure I’ll figure it out on my own.”

“There was a dead body spotted in the alley on Main street where you were.”

“How the hell did you-” Dean tried to ask, moving slightly, before he felt a piercing burning feeling in his back. His words caught in his throat and he felt every single muscle in his body tense up. He managed to look up, the ceiling fluorescent lights suddenly looking a lot brighter, and blurry than they first appeared when he walked in. Suddenly, his world went dark.

When he managed to open his eyes again, he was sitting at a table, his arms behind him. Dean tried to move his arms to rub his neck as to ease the pain in it, but the sound of metal being shook around and his sudden lack of motion, erased the idea out of his head completely. There was a bright light in front of him, and a large mirror that took up the entire wall.

“Look who’s finally awake.” Dean turned to see a man in a suit, standing against the wall. “How did your nap go?”

“Probably would have gone better if I wasn’t fucking tased,” Dean tried to move his arms again, but to no avail. “Where am I?”

“San Francisco,” The face Dean pulled must have been hilarious to the cop, because he just laughed. “Not what you were expecting?” The comment didn’t come out as taunting as Dean had expected. In fact, it came out more like a genuine question

“Considering I went down in Carson City, yeah. San Francisco is a little bit of a surprise. What’s today’s date?”

“June 28th,” The man said. “Now, I’m done answering your questions. It’s time for you to answer some of mine, buddy.”

“Is there a name to go with that Spencer Reid vibe you got going on?” Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

As his vision began to clear, he could see more and more detail belonging to the man. He was skinny and his dark hair was neatly parted. Then of course, not to mention the nose.

“Agent Fitzgerald,” The man said. “Now, do you know why you’re here?”

“I was detained,” Dean answered. “Not quite sure why. I wasn’t resisting at all.”

“Yeah, you were,” Fitzgerald said. “You were in hysterics.”

“No I wasn’t.”

“Well, all I know is what I’ve been told. And what I’ve been told was that you have been detained for an account of attempted murder, drug dealing, credit card scams, I could go on really. Do you confess to any of this?”

“Attempted murder?” Dean shook his head in disbelief. “Who the hell did I almost kill?”

“Castiel James Novak.”

He felt his heart come to a complete stop. His mouth hung open as he shook his head slightly.

“I didn’t hurt him. I’d never want anything to even happen to him.”

“I see that name definitely is familiar to you,” There was a knock on the door and Agent Fitzgerald stepped out of the way. “I’m pretty sure that’s your lawyer. He was assigned to you. Best defense attorney this side of the Rockies. He’s still pretty early in his career, but he’s good, you’re lucky. I’ll leave you two alone.”

As the agent walked out of the room, another man walked in. He was tall, and his hair reached the lower part of his neck. Compared to the agent’s height the lawyer was a giant. And the second person on the list of who Dean wanted to see the most at that moment.

“Sam, what the hell are you doing here?”

“Saving your ass,” His younger brother said as he sat down at the table that Dean was chained too. “And hopefully saving mine as well.”

Castiel rarely spoke when he was driving. His hands gripped the steering wheel to the point that his knuckles were turning white.

“Do you even know where the coordinates led to?” Dean asked, breaking the deafening silence.

“My guess, a storage locker,” Cas said, not looking away from the road. “He wanted to clean up shop, so he would end up getting the rest.”

“It wasn’t even yours to give away,” Dean glanced over at Cas. “And you gave it up anyway.”

“Your brother, your father, and my daughter are in trouble. The ring just held sentimental value,” Dean saw Cas look down at his left hand. He spoke again when he noticed Dean’s eyes on him. “I just feel odd without it on my hand.”

“I can imagine. It’s been what, a year?”

“Roughly,” Castiel sighed. “It’s not a storage locker, it is?”

Dean shook his head. “Didn’t want to break the blissful ignorance you had going on.”

“Well then, what is it?”

Dean stayed quiet. He had been to those exact coordinates hundreds of time. The numbers meant nothing, it was practically in the middle of nowhere. It was a safe haven that had been his his family for generations. Recently, it had been used to hide information. Hidden aliases for everybody who was a part of the ring, names of suppliers and transporters. Then, there was secrets that people had learned while in the field. Dean had never seen the exact place himself, but he was told to keep the ring close to him for safety. All he did know, was that whatever was inside of it was powerful enough to start a war. When most of your work takes place in the shadows, you hear things. And when you hear those things, you need to put them somewhere, right?

“Dean?”

“Nothing,” He said, shaking his head. “Just keep driving.”

 


	8. Until Death do we Part

After driving for hours, Crowley’s directions led them to a large scale hotel. They type that Dean had only stayed at once when they were doing particularly good.

“This, isn’t what I expected.” Dean said as he stepped out of the car that he had taken from their motel’s parking lot. Not fully willing to risk another lost car.

“Well, from what I know of Crowley,” Cas began as he exited the car. “He’s very theatrical.”

The relationship between Castiel and Crowley was still a mystery to Dean. No matter how hard he would push, as soon as he was getting somewhere Cas would change the subject almost unnoticeably fast. “Don’t you think he’s over doing it?”

“Either that or lying…”

The lobby of the hotel was more grand than the outside appeared. As the entered, they were met with a large chandelier hanging in the middle of the ceiling, and the man working reception looking up at them, with a skeptical yet knowing face.

“You are here for MacLeod?” He questioned them, but he already knew the answer.

Neither Dean or Cas answered, but the man continued anyway. “There is a room prepared for you,” he said, walking out from behind the table.

As they were escorted to the room, Dean noticed more eyes on them, all glaring and following their every movement. He turned his attention to Cas, who seemed just as on edge as Dean felt. He held himself in a way that showed he was ready for a fight. His eyes squinted enough for lines to appear at the corner of his eyes as he looked back at the employees who were looking at them.

When they reached the room, all the receptionist did was nod and leave the room, closing the door behind them. The room was as expected. One large bed, nicely decorated. The only difference that Dean could notice was a laptop closed on the bed. He rolled his eyes, but still found himself looking around the rest of the room.  “He was lying,” Dean said as he peeked into the mirrored closet near the door. “Why the hell didn’t I think he was lying? He’s like a fucking Bond villain.”

“Both of us tend to trust people more when desperate,” Cas said as he walked more into the room. He sat on the edge of the bed and eyed the laptop. “Of course Crowley would use the people we love against us.”

“If he wanted my attention, than he should have just gotten you. I mean, trust me I’m fucking grateful that he didn’t. If he did I probably would have torn him a new one before he had the chance to say anything else.”

Dean had meant for the comment to lighten the mood slightly, but it turned out that he meant what he said in all sincerity. When he didn’t get a response, he closed the closet and stepped into the main area of the room to see Cas looking at videos on the screen of the laptop. A focused look on his face. “Dean…” Cas finally said, looking over his shoulder at Dean.

He walked closer to the bed, standing behind him. “What?”

“Crowley wasn’t lying.”

Dean looked closer at the screen. There were three videos going on at once on. The first one Dean saw was of Sam and Jess. They were in their living room talking like nothing really happened. What about? Dean wasn’t sure. No sound came from the video.

Then, there was one of John. He was in a dark concrete room while wearing tan khakis. A jail cell.

Lastly, there was a house that neither of them could quite recognize until a blond teenaer walked across the screen and a woman sat in the back on a couch. It was Amelia and Claire. They had moved somewhere else, like Castiel’s original goal. Yet Crowley still knew where they were.

“They’re being monitored…” Dean said as he knit his eyebrows together.

“I can see that, but what about their wrists?” Cas pointed to devices that looked like watches on each of their wrists. “The images aren’t clear enough to see. Do you think that’s how they hear what they are saying?”

Dean shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine,” He began to look around the room again, but froze when he heard footsteps coming down the hall. “Cas…”

“What’s wrong?” Cas asked, looking from the laptop

“You figure out what the hell is going on. I’m staying here.”

“I don’t-” he began but stopped when the footsteps got louder. “I’m not leaving you.”

“This isn’t exactly a choice, Cas.” He flinched at the sound of a heavy knock on the door “Closet. Now.”

Castiel didn’t hesitate to grab the laptop. He slammed it hard and went into the closet, clutching the computer to his chest. Dean closed the door, took a deep breath and opened the door. A police officer and a man in a dark suit stood in the door. He forced a smile.

“Anything I can help you with?”

The police officer stepped forward. “You know exactly why we’re here, Mr. Winchester.”

“No, I’m not Mr. Winchester. You see, he’s my father. You can just call me Dean. So, can I help you?” Dean repeated

Suddenly, the man with the suit pulled a gun and flashed a badge. Dean didn’t have the time to see what it was for before orders were barked at him. “Hands up! On the ground now!”

Dean dropped to his knees slowly and held his hands up. The cop began to pat him down.

“What is with you guys? I’m not doing anything wr-” he gasped at the feeling of the cop tucking his fingers into the band of his jeans. “Easy there, sheriff.” Dean smirked and winked up at the cop, who grabbed his wrists roughly and pulled them behind his back in response.

“You’re under arrest.” The handcuffs were too tight, cutting into Dean’s skin

“Figured as much,” he mumbled under his breath, yanking slightly when he caught the officer eyeing the closet door to get his attention back.

“Where’s Novak?” His voice echoes in Dean’s ear.

“Inside voice, asshole. We might get noise complaints.” He shrugged. “And, I don’t know where the hell he is.”

“Don’t lie to me, boy.”

“I’m not,” he said, forcing an angry glare which wasn’t exactly hard for him. “The bastard bolted as soon as he had the fucking chance. Haven’t seen him since John’s trial.”

The suit stalked around the room as the cop held onto the chains around Dean’s wrists. Apparently, everything was in order enough for him. He gave a look towards the cop, who nodded.

“Fine, but I swear to God, if you’re lying-”

“What? You’ll throw me in prison? It looks like that might already be happening, chief.”

“You don’t know who I am, do you? I’m a detective” The man said, instead of finishing his threat. “The same detective that’s been working your case practically your entire life. Had your dad right before you. Even know about that little “peace offering” incident.”

Dean felt the blood run from his face. “How do you-”

“Well, after you got away from them, they ended up turning your dad in. Obviously not to happy with what you gave ‘em. Either way, they ended up behind bars too. Funnily enough, same place as your dad.”

“You wouldn’t dare.” Dean forced his voice to stay calm.

“If you’re lying to me,” The detective continued, kneeling down to Dean’s level. “Than I’ll throw you in with all of them. It’ll be a 21st century Daniel in the lion’s den. Except I don’t expect you to come out in one. So, I’ll ask you again. Where. Is. Novak?”

Dean’s breath caught in his throat. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing would come out. He couldn’t tell the difference between him being too scared or too loyal. He shook his head and looked to the carpeted floor. If he’s going down, he might as well do it the same way that Castiel did.

Too Goddamn loyal.

“I told you I don’t know. Do whatever the hell you want with me if you think I’m lying. At this point, I doubt it could get worse.”

The Detective glared down at Dean before barking an order to the cop. “Take him down to the station. Tell the others to come here and check every inch of this place with me. And, Dean? If I see one trace of Novak in this entire state, we’ll put you on the first bus to Chicago Correctional.”

It was months since he’d last seen Cas. He had gone through more trials, more jail cells, all of that without even hearing a single word from Castiel Novak. It wasn’t even just him. Dean could no longer get in contact with Sam, Jess, John, or anybody. He knew that Cas got away, but at what cost? Of course he was worried, the thought of the monitors that they had worn still left a deep impression on him. Something could have happened to all of them. His mind would always wander to Cas as he looked up at the cement ceiling of the prison he was in. The idea of something happening to him still made his heart ache. He would close his eyes at night and be met with clear blue ones, wrap his arms around himself and think of the cold nights where instead of his own arms were Cas’ own.

Then, of course, there was the family business. Dean was barely even fazed by the fact that Crowley took over. He was a businessman too after all. What he couldn’t figure was how Cas had already known him, nor how he’d known about the coordinates on the ring. Would he even know what to do with the information he had gathered? Would he just use it as a powerplay over people? The people who had practically become family to Dean were just locked to Crowley because if he would let one of those secrets out, someone could die.

Those were the thoughts that would constantly fill his head as he was surrounded by hundreds of other felons. That was, until one of the COs came in and told him that he had a visitor.

Dean froze, almost at a loss for words. “Nobody ever visits…”

“Well, it’s your lucky day, Winchester,” the officer said, stepping to the side of the door frame. “Now get your ass out here before they leave.”

He got out of his bunk and was escorted to the front of the building. Over the months that he had been there, he avoided the visitor’s room like the plague. Seeing other people smile with their family or just to see the huge glass windows that the room had, giving it a homey feel, made Dean feel sick with want. Just seeing outside without bars covering his line of sight made him miss the open road. The nights spent driving, the motels, the diners, the freedom. But it had been too much freedom and too much power that got him thrown in a jail to rot in the first place. No, it wasn’t the freedom he missed, it was Cas. It was all Cas and yet Dean couldn’t bring himself to regret a single thing that the two of them had gone through.

He kept his eyes down as they walked to the room, and only looked up when he was shoved forward by the guard into the room. As soon as he did, his breath caught in his throat and he felt his heart skip multiple beats.

Clear blue eyes looked back at him.

He couldn’t get himself to form words, just stutters that even he couldn’t translate.

“Hello, Dean.”

“You’re-” He tried to speak, but Castiel cut him off pulling him into a hug.

“We’re only allowed two of these,” his voice was muffled into Dean’s shoulder. “One at the beginning and one at the end.”

“I can’t believe you’re here.” Dean said as the initial shock wore off, he wrapped his arms tightly around Cas.

“I can’t believe it either.”

A guard yelled across the room at them to stop and that they can continue whatever they were doing while sitting.  They sat across from each other at a chrome table. The seats were uncomfortable, and the room didn’t feel as homey as Dean originally imagined when he noticed how many guards were in the room. All starring the guests and the prisoners down.

“How did you get in here? I thought people were still looking for you.”

“As much as they know, Castiel Novak died in a car accident. High as a kite on everything imaginable,” he sighed. “They found his body in a ditch. Too much damage to really make out the body, but a few details were definitely there that distinguished him. His driver’s license for one thing. I am Dmitri Krushnic.”

“Russian,” Dean said smirking. “It’s kinda hot.”

“Now’s not really the time,” Cas looked behind himself to see if the guards were distracted enough. “What time would you say is the least guarded?”

“Four a.m,” Dean responded. “Most of us are asleep by then, and then most of the COs have turned in. Still on the camp, but in their apartments. Why?”

“Is it not obvious enough?”

“No,” Dean shook his head. “It’s obvious. But you can’t be serious?”

“It’s worth a try,” Cas said, and began to stand up. “At this point I don’t really have much else to lose.”

“Ca-” Dean stopped himself, but stood up as well. “Dmitri, wait. What do you mean by you don’t have anything else to lose?”

Cas looked down at his left hand. The motion caught Dean’s attention as well, his gaze locked on a familiar silver band on Castiel’s ring finger. “Why didn’t you tell me what the coordinates were to?”

“How did you get the ring back?”

“Answer my question first.”

Dean hesitated. “I didn’t have the chance. You gave it away too soon. Cas, what happened? How did you get it back?”

“Claire is… she was….” Cas shook his head and met Dean’s eyes again, his attitude hardening. “She said too much. Crowley took care of her, like he said. And, it’s Dimitri now. Not Cas. Cas died.”

“I’m so sorry.”  
“There’s truly no need to be. None of this was your fault. It was mine and I’d prefer to handle this by myself but I know I can’t.” He took a few steps closer and grabbed hold of Dean’s hands. “I need you, and I love you. Please.”

Dean just looked down at Castiel’s hands. The same hands that used to caress Dean’s bodies or pull needles out of his hand when he was about to slip.

“Okay,” He finally said. “Until death do we part, right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! There will be a playlist on 8tracks called "Over the Counter" to go with this. That will either be out today or tomorrow


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